Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML
Today, I just moved into my second apartment after the first one was infested with fruit flies, which were coming out of cracks in the floor. We discovered they had tried to cover this fact up so we'd move in. Guess what this new one has? Bed bugs. I asked if there was a history of bug problems and they said no. Lies. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML
Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML
Today, and every other weekend for the past 4 weeks, my boyfriend has made the 2 and a half hour drive to come stay with me. For some reason, every time he comes down, we see 1 or 2 cockroaches in my house. I'm at home most of the time, and I never see any cockroaches. I swear they're conspiring to make me look bad. FML
Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML
Today, after months of my girlfriend crying about cockroaches, I finally called and paid for an exterminator. Now she's furious at me for "making decisions for her" and she keeps pointing out that, since she owns the house, what I did was technically illegal. FML
Today, while I was standing in the elevator with a few people I just met when I moved in yesterday, I felt something fall on my hair and dusted it off. It was a cockroach. None of them will come within a 1m distance to me now, because they all think I've got lice. Welcome to the building! FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Rather depends on how much access he had to your apartment alone and/or if you had the locks changed after breaking up.
RichardPencil 32
Yes. The roaches heard you were single and decided to make their move on you. They have lots of confidence considering how short they are. They might listen to Tom Cruise motivational tapes.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Yes. The roaches heard you were single and decided to make their move on you. They have lots of confidence considering how short they are. They might listen to Tom Cruise motivational tapes.
tounces7 28
Rather depends on how much access he had to your apartment alone and/or if you had the locks changed after breaking up.
JasonThorn 23
Go to Amazon for "Advion Syngenta Cockroach Gel Bait" and BUY IT. I had an infestation of roaches I brought from my apartment, got this stuff. Killed them all, haven't seen one since. You'll be sweeping up/vacuuming up dead roaches for a few days, but keep using it.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Yes. She left, and your powers as an entomancer were awakened at the same time. By the way... what was your secret before the roaches came calling? Five years with no bugs? I get like a dozen creepy crawlies in my place as soon as I open a window.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Sounds like your ex killed them all before you saw them.