Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
nuchey 0
your dads hilarious!
imjust2goodlol 0
ur dads a bitch. the same thing happened to me once. i went on a trip to new york for the weekend. during that time, my mom found a pad i had thrown out. she had a meeting with my whole family about it. i hate my parents.
6969awesome 0
it dads a **** head kick him in the nuts
IBeAwesome 0
i am gonna go with the what seems to be THOUSANDS of comments on here and agree with them, you are not a woman unless you are 18 or older. Hitting puberty doesn't make you a woman. The fact that you weren't even mature enough to handle your dad sending everyone a text about you having your period proves that you aren't a woman, because most WOMEN would not care. Why should they? oh no, people know that you have reached reproductive age like everyone other woman. So terrible! You are the immature one, not your father and thats what he was showing to you, you'll realize it when you become the woman you believe you are. YDI
XYZzzzzzzz 0
it does not btw
Shutupmeg 0
I hate KIDS like you who think being mature comes at a set age or with something as stupid as a period.
stasia1013 0
shit like this happens all the time in my family.
redwingss 0
63 thats pretty much impossible to tell if OP is not a woman shame on you for thinking like that
fadingaway 17
this is a repeat
7spears 0
I think that's a WIN. :D