Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple of quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML
Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML
Today, I was walking when I saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realized a kid was laying them out in a trail. I'd collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML
Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tick_tock 0
Haha, that's hilarious. But yes, you deserved it I'm afraid.
KEVINPASH 0
Street Patrol? you must live in the hood.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
PinkNmetal 0
Wow, someone was bored. XD
cheer_girl1994 0
woooow, brilliant ;)
XGCHappyFace 0
Lol Good prank, Bad timing :)
srslyfucked 0
I dunno... is it possible to deface U.S. currency any more than it already is?
redroses5 0
touche #127, touche.
chilipeppersrok 0
YES!! #42! empire records kicks all ass! thats the first thing that popped into my head when i read this! Ive always wanted to try it as i too am an artist!
TheEmoBeatlesFan 0
OOOOOH IM GOING TO TRY THAT NEXT TIME xD
dolce079 0
Fantastic.
Tiky_Taky_Violet 0
oog, i tried gluin pennies to benches at a train station. i went to go pick up a friend, came back, saw the penny, and tried to pick it up.... O__O
lovely997 0
this cracked me up the fmil itself and the comments