Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML
Today, I met up with my 'on again, off again' girlfriend of 4 years that I'm still madly in love with. We've been broken up for a few months and she's been dating someone else. We talked about possibly trying things again. When I got home, I found out she's engaged. FML
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML
Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asked me out. I say, "Sure…" sarcastically. She then called my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML
Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML
Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML
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Top comments
linstar 13
not as romantic as they make it look in the movies, is it.
IAMVINCE 11
Run.
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Comments (112)
MillerBeerTime 5
Dude...**** HER BRAINS OUT
karlcolt45 19
then you wake up the next morning with your scrotum super glued to your thigh
kyu_Q 19
And hopefully still attached to your you in the natural way as well. Either in this situation I would take her someplace to talk. That way I can always leave when things get more weird.
sigurd 11
I read "bang" instead of "hang" but I guess that's what she wanted anyways
Grand_Cookie 21
That sucks. Now you have to fake your own death.
amifaiyaz 12
Well... isn't that romantic.
kyu_Q 19
Hind sight is 20/20 they say. I would say get her some help and keep your distance. Kindness in these cases are usually interpreted as "he must be in love with me".
jonnyb_118 6
Lol.... stalker status.!
llama612 27
You have a few choices here. First off you could be the guy who bangs her then sends her on her way, Be the guy who sweeps hr off her feet and live happily ever after, get her pphone call one of her friends to come and get her or finally close and lock the doors while making the proper arrangements to change your number and get a restraining order. Me personally I would go with a combo of the last two that way you feel you helped her but also don't feel like your going to wake up in the morning with your nuts superglued to something.
EvilUndead 9
Police/restraining order if she keeps bugging you. She had her chance in high school, but you two split up, which means it was not meant to be.
King_paradox 22
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.
Kalnus 14
Wait... Two hours later and she lives four states away? Did she use time warp or something?
cjhons 16
Well, if its the northeast US, that's totally possible...I thought the same thing. Unless she was already halfway there when she called...
stevothedevo 25
Exactly what I was thinking.. But I have no idea how long trips in the U.S are.. Can take a day+ to drive across some of our states.