Today, I had a major "WTF?" moment when a teenage goth, who was clearly still drunk at 7 a.m., with a vodka bottle in his pocket, plonked down next to me on the train, glanced at my crossword and pointed out where I’d gotten three words wrong, and one word that was right but misspelled. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, my latest date ended so badly that I was back home by 8 p.m., drunk on cheap wine, and screaming at myself in the mirror, “What is wrong with you?” FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I took a train to visit a friend and fell asleep for what felt like ten minutes. I woke up at the final stop with the carriage empty. The doors opened, I stepped onto the platform, and immediately realized I had no idea where I was or how I'd got there. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML
Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
I’m not sure why you think someone’s choice in fashion is an indication of intellect, tbh. Just because the kid likes black doesn’t mean he can’t also be into puzzles.
missedhighfivemakessad 4
That goth had all the problems or no problems. Either way I want to meet them.
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Comments (5)
missedhighfivemakessad 4
That goth had all the problems or no problems. Either way I want to meet them.
Anderling 33
I’m not sure why you think someone’s choice in fashion is an indication of intellect, tbh. Just because the kid likes black doesn’t mean he can’t also be into puzzles.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
It's still pretty bad that a drunk is solving things better than he can though.
Crowned Sataness 12
This is why you don't judge a book by its cover. The smartest people are the ones that want to be themselves and not conform to a brainwashed society. This one just happens to like black.
RichardPencil 32
If the goth had "lost his faith in humanity" before he got on the train, you probably pushed his nihilism knob even higher.