Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected it. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I had a first date via video, due to Covid. It was the first time a girl had asked me out, and she seemed very enthusiastic. Until she started to worry me by throwing in the L-word about 10 minutes in, and talking about our wedding. I've never even met this person in real life. FML
Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
Sue21 0
Tell her to go to a wallet making factory
whocaresnotme 0
what the heck???? how bout u never talk to her ever again
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Comments (239)
thatoneguy1812 0
Dude, a wallet? That sounds awesome! She's a keeper, obviously. Of course... does this make her high maintenance?
Dave0 0
Why is that weird? I mean it's unique...if you wanted a generic girlfriend, go date a mannequin...
BrEnNo1023 5
#43 -- i agree. she probably just has a different sense of humour. if you want a generic nobody, don't look online. online is where most unique individuals are, because they don't really prefer to meet with people in a dance club or a pub or something. i have a friend like this girl you're FML'ing all over; she has a brilliant personality, sense of humour and she's pretty hot and intelligent too. don't knock the individuals >:|
csking3 0
haha #35 i was thinking the same thing lol
ezflip 0
NOT AN FML. Whoever voted for this to be accepted should be shot!
altna 4
Lol @ #23 and #35. And I have to agree with #43, if you don't want to date her gimme her number...
dickinabox 0
lol @9 This is just her way of saying "I want to be in your pants."
brsnedeker 0
im sorry if you really like this girl but thats a little odd... :P But she might be really nice :) you might wanna give her another chance :P
strangersdk 0
Wallet....maybe she's a gold digger and just wants to be near money? That's kind of odd. Internet though.
Nakedsquirrel 5
You missed the chance to make a joke about winding up in someone's pants.
Edmund_Dantes 0
Get a tattoo of a dollar bill on your penis.