Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Because every one would expect you to post your suicide note on facebook?
mattman1994 0
he probably knew you were wasted. I wouldve done the same thing I hate when people bitch about how crappy their lives are on facebook
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Comments (187)
RedPillSucks 33
Because every one would expect you to post your suicide note on facebook?
MrSassypants 34
It would've been funnier if he said don't let the bed bugs bite. :)
MrSassypants 34
Your dad should've said don't let the bed bugs bite. That was my last comment. Why did it got moderated? The FML people who moderated comments said "Stale!" and moderated it.
Sirin_fml 47
The comment(s) aren't related to the post you're replying to :-)
MrSassypants 34
11 most of the people who threadjack don't get moderated why should I? oh well.
thekidownz 0
ahahahahahahahah I hate u to!
evig_fml 16
if I was your father I would have replied "hello las Vegas!!!"
abusyboy93 0
there liking your status, u can't like comments on facebook retard
MrSassypants 34
28 actually you can.
lovely220 0
Actually you can you idiot.
Metzler31 17
Actually I just saw this news article about the Rutgers student whose last words were on facebook 'jumping off the [George Washington] bridge sorry'. And he did it.
DocBastard 40
Busyboy, you are making yourself look incredibly foolish by posting an incorrect statement which is also grammatically incorrect and then calling OP a retard. In other words, you're a dumbass.
Thin_Ice_fml 0
28 Likes? Never seen that many on a comment.
regine22joy 0
which is why you use tumblr. tumblr = understanding people
redbluegreen 41
The first rule of Tumblr is you do not talk about Tumblr. The second rule of Tumblr is YOU DO NOT ******* TALK ABOUT TUMBLR!
shannwongg 0
they actually can :)
Starfire22 5
Kay lovey, nice to see you! :) Exactly Redpillsuck! OP's just trying to get sympathy, he's probably some whiney asshole whose a total drama queen.
tweetbaby14 18
well, OP, if you want to die so badly that you'd post it on facebook.... no, actually, posting your "last words" on facebook is another way of saying "waaah! I want attention! someone better send me a comment to stop me or I'll delete you all off my friends list!". people like you annoy me OP. stop teasing us with your death and just do it already.
Kimfrey 5
Actually, yes you can like comments made on a status on Facebook.
abusyboy93 0
god u all have no lives I posted tht just to c how many ppl wud try and argue with me... sad haha
FYLwindowlicker 0
CYA!
chuk_norris_fml 0
The real FML here is that OPs parents know how to use Facebook
my2centsworth 15
Yes, one can "like" the comments on facebook, brain surgeon.
nigalangelospizz 0
maybe if someone close to you committed suicide you'd be less callous.
Person000 0
yeah #33 he jumped off the bridge because his roomate secretly taped him having homosexual relations and posted it on the Internet so he killed himself, you should be careful what you say online the government is making new laws that enables them to prosecute online harassment especially if it causes suicide.
YuMaNuMa 0
tumblr = 4chan's reblogger most pictures and Memes on tumblr came from 4chan
I_EAT_THE_POOPOO 0
This fml is totally fake.. just saying.
skittle68 0
ydi for pretending to be suicidal for attention. douche.
regine22joy 0
56 that's nice.
desertrose415 8
Sorry to be late to the party but why couldn't someone post a suicide note or hints to their suicide on Facebook? I knew someone who did that. It's not attention-seeking, it's asking for help. You wouldn't understand unless you've been there or had a close friend who was, so I can't blame you for not realizing it, but you guys are kind of being complete assholes right now..
LeaAnne94 17
Welcome to the Internet. It's full of assholes and that won't change.
taycandy96 2
Uh what do u expect him to say? No don't leave the world?
pippymiskers 4
Uh, yeah. I think he did. It's his dad.
skorpien 1
Wow, your parents must have really hated you if that's how you expect a parent to react to his or her child's intent to commit suicide.
marmlr339 14
NEVER use facebook whilst intoxicated. Or even better, just avoid using your phone
lalagirl912 0
95, your pic makes me sick >.< I don't like pizza! lol sorry, it just made me feel nasty.. had to let you know. xD
nood_fml 0
lol you be a troll!
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
fav'd :D
MonkeyQuank 0
Maybe he had the right response, considering you weren't actually going to kill yourself.
colorguardgeek 8
maybe they knew you were drunk or interpreted it differently. that does suck. I'm sorry.
mattman1994 0
he probably knew you were wasted. I wouldve done the same thing I hate when people bitch about how crappy their lives are on facebook
saint_jimmy 0
Except that people are highly more likely to take their own life while intoxicated. You know, due to the whole impaired judgement thing that getting "very drunk" does to you?
mattman1994 0
I don't drink, I wouldn't know
mattman1994 0
I guess that does make sense though
UnicornsDoExist 0
That's hilarious. Your dad wins.
femaleodd 0
I was going to ask how they could type that correctly if they were so drunk, but then I had a flashback and remembered that being drunk doesn't impare everything.
MonkeyBallZ86 0
if it doesn't you're not the right type of drunk.
elrusso 0
Not true. When I was a student I once woke up to find an immaculately rolled joint in my jeans pocket. I had no recollection of getting home, let alone rolling it, I was that drunk the previous night.
nood_fml 0
Holy crap 110! Even though im against drugs (but not alchohol) I salute you for your epic-ness!
mintcar 10
Hahahah, I probably shouldn't be laughing at this. Haha.
StrictlyMCH 0
14 can get the dick
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
Aww my comment disappeared. :'(