Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Come on Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
You'd think a quote like that would inspire you to finish faster.
Catkam623 27
I wish If had my hype man on my first time maybe he coulda pushed me to longer than 10 seconds
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Comments (88)
MVSK 8
are you really sure he was talking to his son?
sdroze1389 31
everyone likes some penis pep talk right?
Ghost308 11
That's some inspiration man.
Jared900DUmpling 30
Maybe he named his son after you! Kidding of course. Still, maybe your GF could have got you back into the mood to try again?
smokecloud_ 37
We all know he was really cheering you on. Go for the gold!! Or the pink, or brown.. whatever you're into. ;)
utrax 23
Maybe he was secretly cheering for you!
perdix 31
I don't think you can translate this back to French, but I think your female would call you "Dickless Nicholas." In English, it rhymes!
amyyyf 6
Haha they were just words of encouragement
rjberger1853 8
was your window open or something? how did you hear him? he mustve been screaming pretty loud then.
breakinlegs 19
What do you live in a house made of paper?