Today, I realised I fit the stereotype of a lonely, bored housewife when I was more turned on by the plumber fixing the boiler than I have been by my husband in at least a year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML
Today, I've never been so lonely nor felt so romantically neglected as when I got married. FML
Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML
Today, my husband asked what I’d done all day. I took it as a criticism and was about to chew his head off about not appreciating all I do, when I took a look at myself still in pyjamas, the filthy house, dirty plates, and unwashed laundry and realised I’ve done fuck all for weeks. I’m a bad wife. FML
Today, I haven’t spoken to my husband in a week, and when I finally spoke to him he thanked me because he’s gotten so much work done round the house, caught up on all his paperwork for his job, and reconnected with his Xbox friends. I didn’t realise I was such a fucking distraction. FML
Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML
Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML
Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
A lot of women are into crack. Butt crack, that is.
coolrunnings1021 14
Can i come over and fix your pipes? 🤣
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
A lot of women are into crack. Butt crack, that is.
coolrunnings1021 14
Can i come over and fix your pipes? 🤣
kitten79TX 5
Put some effort into your sex life. Have date nights where you can talk (put the phones away), buy some sexy lingerie. Life hapoens and people neglect their intimate relationships with their spouses. But you CAN relindle it.