Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
markh110 0
Oh dude :(
fucked_up_4life 0
im sorry dude this is ******. i have a brother in iraq. his gf cheated in him. i wanted to kill her. thats messed up. u dont do shit like that. dump her sorry ass and make her move out. find urself someone worth ur time. u go to seas and she ***** another guy. tell her a girl said to go rot in hell for me. thanks.
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Comments (101)
SexyMexi21 23
Damn man . I'm sorry .. we're all sorry for you. But ******* kick her the **** out. She def sint worth your time over seas or not. Thank you for serving our country.
ddlovatolover 23
Your neighbour didn't notice your luggage?
ChoolyBooly 32
Hope things are better now. That unfortunately happens a lot now a days. Hopefully you have found someone who doesn't feel the need to do that.
TDKopecki 16
Sorry brother, my 2 year (ex) girlfriend cheated on me just recently I feel your pain.
OwlsMakeBowels 17
I don't know why people think they can get away with cheating and why they would even cheat, especially when you were overseas. that's just straight up disrespect and a slap to the face
danny_doom27 6
clearly your dick game isn't good enough so it seems like you do in fact fact deserve it...step it up dude
iT_Cereal 25
):
T1A2Z3 35
Your girlfriend got a vibrator to keep her company? I hope.