Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, my neighbor called me a lucky bastard and said he heard me getting my wife off last night. I was too ashamed to admit the sounds he was referring to were from my 17-year-old daughter after a wasp flew through her bedroom window. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML
Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML
Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
markh110 0
Oh dude :(
fucked_up_4life 0
im sorry dude this is ******. i have a brother in iraq. his gf cheated in him. i wanted to kill her. thats messed up. u dont do shit like that. dump her sorry ass and make her move out. find urself someone worth ur time. u go to seas and she ***** another guy. tell her a girl said to go rot in hell for me. thanks.
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Comments (101)
Qup 0
every time I hear these FML stories, I can't imagine how painful it must be. I hope you kick her ass to the curb. don't look back. and find someone who will be loyal. I've never cheated and I never will. no matter how bad a relationship gets, cheating is just not an option, just another complication. good luck.
camis 0
Uhm, it was a joke as in he was overseas and his penis reached all the way home?
AshleyRose784 0
oh man, that's shitty
omigawdd 0
well dont get mad till ur a 100% sure she might have been using a *****....... (most likley not tho) :)
kar15 0
Sucks to be you dude. Kick this chick to the curb.
crazysk8guy 0
mabye she had a vibrator? don't always asume she was cheating
Neferria 0
Just toss her out. Or, toss her shit out on the street when she's not home. If the apartment is in your name, even better.
fegd 0
Seu vizinho é gay.
MoobyTheCow 2
When the cat's away, the mouse will play.
CyclonePsycho 1
'Sokay, she was probably faking.