Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML
Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, a classmate at college accused me of stalking her. All because I walked past her house. I was walking to the supermarket. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML
Today, my ex-wife, who I have a 1000-yard restraining order against since she threatened my new wife and our kids, moved into a house down the street. The police say they can't do anything because her house is more than 1000 yards from mine. It's 1012 yards away. FML
Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML
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Top comments
StayClassy 0
Haha, start throwing in a slow, creepy smile when you wave.
djspazy 0
that's terrible. i hope the police or whoever drop the order.
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Comments (46)
musicalmandi16 0
aww that sucks! Why won't karma treat people like you better?
allie2590 31
What the hell? And I'm with #11. But some of the most unfortunate FMLs have a fair number of people saying the OP deserved it. Some people are douchebags. =
lalap_fml 0
Hahahahahaha!
wolfy_fml 5
lmao That is awesome. I hope that the order doesn't get approved or gets overturned or whatever. I am not familiar with restraining orders. (I don't wave at my neighbours, lol.)
muse88 0
that is ridiculously hilarious!!! it made me actually laugh out loud..crazy old woman...u should get an order against her!!!
last_fml 0
Hahahaha at #5 and i agree with #8
Lou_Briccant 0
Hahahah I hope I'm that crazy when get old, just not "restraining order" kind of crazy. More like "I used to go to Studio 54 with Frank Sinatra and Abe Lincoln stories" kind of crazy.
wolfy_fml 5
#18 Grandpa Simpson!
0___0 9
I wish they'd put the OP's gender on here. I'm sorry, lol, you didn't deserve it :{
Kizzah 0
#5 is pure win.