Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I, a 40 year-old who has been playing chess for over 25 years, was beaten by my own 12 year-old son. To make it worse, I actually fell for the Fool’s Mate, which to those who don’t know is the shortest possible checkmate in chess that only involves two moves. Yes, TWO MOVES. FML
Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML
Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML
Today, after my 14 year-old son brought home six Fs on his report card, we decided to take away all his video games and sell them. He screamed for hours, then went into the kitchen and started smashing glasses against his head, "until we brought back his games." FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, I found out that my 9 year-old cousin logged into my main chess account and lost 1700 points on purpose down from 2300. Which took 8 years of grinding and several national championships. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML
Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I'm a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
This is why you play chess on the Internet.
CoolBroStory 7
Chess is intense.
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Comments (186)
kenbarbz72 0
... Can your son and I be anger management buds? It sounds like we have a lot in common!
dragonflyy_86 7
You must be so proud :)
Felling 14
That's how you know your son will never be a chess master.
spacemanspiff78 7
I heard Bobby Fisher started the same way.
saIty 17
I feel bad for the sap who chooses to play Monopoly with him.
KingCeltic77 18
Damnit! I commented the same thing and you beat me to the punch.
ebdeadaccount 11
The way I learned was to play a bunch of games with only pawns then working my way up with more pieces. It must be hard to go and try to understand how to use each piece well at once.
Helloilike_lacro 8
His poor fist...
ninjadinos 14
How am I tough?? I slammed my fist down on chess pieces and only cried for 20 minutes!
perdix 31
There's no crying in chess!
ebdeadaccount 11
Unless it's chess-boxing. You can be hurt twice as much.
SweetJTBR 22
But there is in fact, a C. :D
SqueakyChipmunk 22
21) Only death.
gracehi 33
Wait, so there's no crying in baseball OR chess??? Man, perdix, you're no fun.
j_cat187 20
(Wu, Tang, Wu, Tang, Wu, Tang, Wu, Tang!!!!) [Verse Six: Masta Killa] Homicide's illegal and death is the penalty What justifies the homicide, when he dies? In his own iniquity it's the Master of the Mantis Rapture coming at you.
MrRayBans 8
Your son is fourteen? I'll bet it's hormones. They suck. FYL. Hope everything gets better :D
LittleGreenPaola 23
I agree with you. But it's also true that OP raised him
DocBastard 40
Sounds like a pretty bad knight, but it was a obviously a rookie mistake. You should have checked to make sure his temper wasn't so short, mate. Maybe you should teach your young oppawnent some sportsmanship first.
tigrouficele2012 44
Curse my inability to thumbs-up on a mobile device!
anarchistpunk 3
...dude. You can.
allie2590 31
Funny, because I just thumbed you down on a mobile device.
Dunvanation 4
Anarchist punk I really enjoy your bio. I agree. Anarchism is the answer.