Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML
Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
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Top comments
SweetestSin 4
Karma just slapped you in the face - isn't egging a little childish?
cooluc 0
YDI. For one, your an immature little bitch who thinks 'getting back' at someone is usually a good idea. Secondly, even when you try to get back at him, you do it like a 10 year old.
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Comments (197)
Headcrab 29
Your behaviour explains all. You're a childish bitch. egging his house... how old are you? 10?
Anonymous874598 0
You should have cut off his dick with a meat carver. That would have made a swell point.
No_Heart 0
And then go to prison and completly **** her life up..............swell plan there buddy.
coolcat33 0
egging is so childish..what you do is put a ham in his mailbox.that'll teach him..
DizzyVulps 0
I agree! Ham in the mailbox is the way of the future!
Dydy_fml 0
................o.o how can someone be so stupid ?
ferdte 0
like that would do anything besides him remember how stupid u are and thank god that he doesn't have a crazy gf anymore ;)
tehbassmasta 0
if he didnt wash those eggs off of his car asap your also paying for a new paintjob for his car.
xCrackerx 3
This is no Carrie Underwood song. Karma is a bitch to immature people like you.
Simply_J 0
This is the definition of YDI!
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
wtf? dude egging is not cool... anithing with a penis is a doosh.. they cant help it... :/
Subal_fml 8
I'm sorry for being a doosh.
IambecomeRAWR 0
Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr. all apologise to you wholeheartedly for being 'dooshes'. They hope you can forgive them.
dvd175 5
Albert Einstein as welll
AndelleRae 9
And Hitler!! ... Wait, I think I'm missing the point of this.
IambecomeRAWR 0
Albert Einstein was a genius, but he wasn't a great role model for relationships, to be honest. He divorced his wife, leaving two children, and married his cousin IIRC :p.
TheZarola 10
Einstein also cheated on both of his wives multiple times. Even though he did great things, Einstein was, indeed, a "doosh". Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King Jr.? Nope.
CallMeHush 1
Next time be a little more mature, wait for dark and take a crap down his windshield.