Today, my son watched some ridiculous Japanese cartoon about shokugeki cooking and is convinced he's the greatest cook ever by copying what happens in the show. He set fire to my frying pan, panicked, and dumped it in the ceramic sink, which cracked from the heat and flooded my kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, my idiot son tried to load the dishwasher while the dishes inside were clean. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML
Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight that ended with her taking my son and going to her mother's. What happened? I caught him playing with the knobs on the GAS STOVE for the third time and spanked him for it. He's been told not to play with those many times already, and I'm scared he's gonna start a fire. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
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Top comments
wysegirl 24
Food Wars is a good show but maybe you should teach him not to mimic TV shows...
BurnInDemonFire 39
Someone isn't getting a visit from Santa this year.
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Comments (19)
Sinshine 28
The question is how old is he? Big difference between an 8 years old and a 16 years old.
Nhayaa 21
Consider getting him Cooking Mama. It's safer for your house.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Well ahougeki no soma does get pretty tense at times...
Jeremy Phillips 18
Read it wrong and happily it made it funnier. “He’s convinced he’s the greatest **** ever”
Squidgegg 4
Given what that show's like, and the content and implications, your son should be WAY too old to be making those sorts of mistakes. As such, he's a friggin' idiot. And a moron.