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Anonymous

Cancel the wedding

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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If it’s been going on for 6 months, why is the wedding still on?

End the engagement. It's only going to get worse once you tie that knot. It may not be your fault, it may not even be his fault, but this is NOT going to last. In my experience, the most toxic relationship dynamic after outright abusive behavior is when a wife is ambitious for her husband, but her husband is laid back and just wants to enjoy life. She wants him to do, be and earn more, and he just wants to enjoy life and do enough to get by and enjoy his hobbies. Neither is necessarily wrong in their approach to life, but they do NOT combine. The husband will think his wife is always nagging and trying to kill his free time and enjoyment of life, and the wife will think her husband is a deadbeat who doesn't want to take care of her or her future children. I've seen this with at least 3-4 friends whose marriages ended over this same dynamic.

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Comments (12)

Do not marry this man.

You have to accept that people rarely change the basics of who they are except under great duress. Nobody wants to become anyone else’s fix up project.