Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML
Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, I found out that my violent ex has moved to my country for the sole purpose of tracking me down. I know this because my former boss called and told me she gave him my address. She loves the idea of us getting back together because, "You're such a cute couple!" FML
Today, I found out I have a restraining order against me from my ex boyfriend. Apparently, I drive by his house too much and it is considered stalking. He forgot that I live 2 houses down, and MUST drive by his house to get home. FML
Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML
Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I'm obsessing over finding out anything about my ex. A month ago, I finally deleted his number from my phone, but if I'd known it would just make me start obsessing over him again, then I wouldn't have deleted it. FML
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
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Top comments
ICallKyo 3
****** scary!
blanka453 0
I hope he broke something, like his neck. oh and call the cops, get a restraining order or something
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Comments (235)
ICallKyo 3
****** scary!
TheAnalogKid2112 0
that reminds me of potato potato
soccer060 0
yea it is maybe you should by a wrist rocket he he he
jimmychunk 0
was it from a potato tree?
thor89 0
Burn him O_o
Hunts160 5
u should hide behind a bush or something and when he's in the tree shoot him with 1 of ur brothers paintball guns or something!
katrin10 0
lol
thor89 0
Totally hOt Imao
bebz_fml 0
#4 you are very strange hahaha potatoes!?!?
Resquall 0
Potatoes do NOT grow on trees. They grow in bushes :3
0671241409 0
@ jimmychunk and resquall potatoes grow underground!!!! not in trees nor bushes!!!!
Blondie08_fml 0
ReSTRAINING ORDER smart one
VampireKiller59 0
@83 either that or shoot him with a BB gun =D
reyemrein 0
Cut down the tree. Use a little bit of it to make a peice of paper and have a restraining order written on it. Use the rest of the wood to build a catapult for if he ever comes back.
woofis 0
they actually grow IN the ground
woofis 0
hire an even scarier looking guy to sit out of his window
asianwolf 2
I like 119 idea
showrunner 0
get a peace bond, shoot him with paintball guns and get someone to sit out side his window.
GirlWithAnItouch 0
exactly.:P
Oathkeeper111 0
I agree with number 119
LemonMan 0
What....are you smoking?!? 0_o
newmanlyman3 8
that's why I keep a powerful automatic bb gun by my bed with a fully loaded 500 bbs in it
Betz 10
at least he hadn't built a treehouse...yet.
blitzen123 0
That is terrifying.
jazriel 0
wow that's an epic fail
FYLDUDEE 3
lol..thats awesome:D
carlycow407 0
ur so pretty
steveakafranxy 7
I hate people who trololo in the first comment to get people to read what they say
iampjman 0
shit thrs ****** up!
_swimcutie_ 0
Yeahhh..i mean WTH?!?! I would probably call the cops. You never know what that freak is up too....! JuSt SaYiN.
ladiesman14 0
you like the attention cause no one else will give you any. and you know the exact number of days since the break up ? your still not over him are you.
ladiesman14 0
why dont you put a sign in your wondow that says: hey im really fat and have cellulite, arms wtth wings, stretch marks all over, and warts. that will get rid of him for sure.
KingTata 0
did she say she knew the exact number of day? no. she said "from over two years ago" dipshit.
ImaginaryFoe 1
ladiesman, despite what you tell yourself whenever you find a new "girlfriend" to follow, no one likes being stalked. OP, you should not have ignored this for so long. I don't know what the laws are where you live but get a restraining order if you can and call the police each and every time you see him near your property. If nothing else, there'll be a record in case it escalates.
ladiesman14 0
call the police everytime ? call 911 and tell the cops stop looking for murderers, child molestors, and felons who break into cars JUST to stop your RETARD ex boyfriend from trying to get back with you.
ladiesman14 0
oh and for all of you saying call the cops, society should blame you for all the other crimes that cant be solved. why are you making the taxpayers suffer by calling 911 for your retarded choices in boyfriends. everytime you do this the cops have to drop what their doing to make a retard report.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I didn't say she needed to call the emergency number. Call the police and make sure they fill out an incident report. This is part of the police's job and they have different departments to deal with different crimes. She shouldn't have to wait to be raped or murdered to get police attention.
mysoubriquet 3
Is that what your mom had to do to get you off her jock?
mysoubriquet 3
RE: putting a sign in the window Is that what your mom had to do to get you off her jock?
babybubz 0
ladiesman is probably OP's ex..
ladiesman14 0
No girl is worth stalking. guys if a girl does not like you or dumps you get over it. besides there are thousands of hot single girls who turn 18 everyday ! ok i admit to being verballiy abusive with the fat and cellulite jokes.
blanka453 0
I hope he broke something, like his neck. oh and call the cops, get a restraining order or something
royals08 0
yea definitely call the cops especially if he has a history of being abusive....
FYLDeep 26
I bet that if you would just talk to him you would find out that he had a perfectly legit reason to be up there. he was probably trying to remove some video camera that some "other" guy installed in the tree in order to creep more effectively.
KurouTenshi 0
awww he's a keeper :)
arielhoee 9
More like a creeper.
KurouTenshi 0
or in this case peeper :O
GeneralCha 3
Or a......a....... sh*t. What else can I rhyme with that?
Rosalie_Haostn 0
Russian sleeper O.O
morena0603 0
lol
Kylias 6
Let's break his beeper. :3
boots9491 0
all he wants is to stick it deeper
Diannaa 0
No no no... He's a tree leaper?
FYLDeep 26
At least he's not a streaker.
PsychoMerk 0
oh look, he left his sneaker?
GeneralCha 3
Jeepers!
Monikabug 9
If he falls from a higher tree limb he'll get a visit from the REAPER. :)
GeneralCha 3
Yeah. Because then he'll be dead....... Consider your rhyming post BROKEN!!!!!
AngryNinja 1
and so our rhyming ends on a sad token. >:}
Monikabug 9
Guess we are done jokin'.
GeneralCha 3
.....I will kick u all in the throat xD
FYLDeep 26
Whatever floats your boat
Diannaa 0
It's cold where's my coat...?
FYLDeep 26
It's on the other side of the moat. Here take my boat. It's tied to the end of this rope.
GeneralCha 3
Lmao there's just no stopping u guys huh? Damn, and I was hoping to gloat.....
Monikabug 9
Well I mean, if its such a problem I suppose we could just call a vote!
FYLDeep 26
Yeah the general would want us to stop but I say we don't.
AngryNinja 1
by the time we're done, we could've dug a moat..
GeneralCha 3
And would this moat keep out? Rabit goats?
Monikabug 9
No, just bad jokes.
FYLDeep 26
That's all folks
GeneralCha 3
This post ammuses me
silbot 11
I hope this post continues to be
silbot 11
I hope this post continues to be
gagneana000 5
omg! creeper... I would've gotten a branch from the tree and hit him with it!
bridgette5866 0
Torch the tree.
YourGoinDown14 2
can u say creeeeeeeepp?!?
TurtleHabitat 0
ya.
GeneralCha 3
Creep. There I have met your challenge and the rules state, I can make a challenge of my own. Can u repeat "Green Eggs and Ham" backwards and in German?
purple91 8
hahahahaha
HippL 0
At this point, you shoud have thrown an object at his head
chandlerthedog 0
omg... get a big dog to bite his nuts off....
theian01 3
Get a pony to do it. They work better. And if that doesn't work, grind up his parents into chili and feed it to him, while Radiohead calls him a baby.
Taipan_fml 0
eric cartman ftw...
Starjell 0
what a creep
FYLDeep 26
What the hell is he doing here? He doesn't belong here
thoughtcrimeno1 0
you should set bear traps
thoughtcrimeno1 0
or set up a perimeter using mini-turrets, hacked security bots and prximity mines
Snow_Daisy 7
Your comments reminded me of Dwight on The Office. (: lol
TurtleHabitat 0
then pull out your intervention and avoid his tactical knife. next find a safe spot and deploy your harrier.