Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. Fifteen minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to prank my friend. When he came to pick me up in his car, I pulled up my mask, put on my toque, got in the back seat and yelled "This is a robbery! Don't talk! Drive now!" I'd hopped in the back of the wrong car. FML
Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
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Top comments
Fluffydemise 18
You are not an accomplice, and the police will surely figure that out. What you most definitely are, however, is a bad judge of character!
EngageZoo5 8
The jig is up. The news is out. They finally found you.
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Comments (76)
perdix 31
When your cellmate starts "joking" about anally raping you, just laugh and bend over. Hahahaha! Good luck in prison.
jonha21 11
Hangover 3 or BendOver or was it BangedBy 3
worldclassrager 41
Well you have no involvement...that's the good thing...I guess (if there is) a future time this comes up help or tell him to take a hike...
rmoman007 7
That really sucks but it is funny sorry
brittyed 11
It was an honest mistake. I hope the cops see your side of the story and let you off. If he ever shows up at your door after another crime, just lock your doors and shut your blinds. It's one thing to help a friend in need out, but you have to draw the line somewhere OP lmao.
LennyComa 39
One of these day's this will be a funny story to tell your parole officer. In all seriousness if it went down the way you claim it did then you have nothing to worry about, you weren't deliberately or knowingly trying to pervert the course of justice so you will be free to go.
djinnyf 12
Well now he is in trouble, since he has lied to them... That's what i understood by "the cops came.... I'm now an accomplice..."
khaya 9
Jeez when did police stations become so lax, they let you post FML's from you cell.
Schiffy 18
He may have not been in a cell. He could have posted bail.
websphere69 27
maybe next time you'll believe your friend
buckdharma 38
Maybe you can crawl through a river of shit and come out clean on the other side.
Grayness_ 26
Did he at least give you money ?
Capriccio22 13
This is where a simple code phrase, such as bazinga, could be quite handy.