Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML
Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
Today, my wife blames me for our son having a “posh” accent, because she thinks he’ll be bullied at school. I’m a Yorkshireman and use “ey up”, “ow do” , “pillock” and “arse” in everyday conversation, whereas my wife was raised in Oxford, I doubt I’m the one making our son sound posh. FML
Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML
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Top comments
kitsune309 15
You deserved it. Maybe it's a different accent technically, but in layman's terms, a British accent is perfectly valid, just like an American accent.
strawberrywine22 30
To be fair, we women like to live with the knowledge that if someone is from England, they have a "sexy British accent."
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Comments (71)
heartgrenade1 5
This seems really nit-picky to me. There are plenty of similarities between all of the different types of English accents. Besides, the term "English Accent" is generally used to distinguish between American and British accents, not to distinguish between individual regional differences. Only a linguist would really have enough information to properly distinguish between the many different types of English. Are you a linguist?
ksktwin84 14
There are big differences between the different countries in Britain though- you don't need to be a linguist to realize the difference between an English and a Scottish accent
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
there is great variation still between the accents spoken in england. so no need for confusion with 'english accents'. Just say 'londoner' or 'cockney', etc.
Mossears133 15
34- There are many times when I (an American) cannot differentiate between a Scottish accent and an English accent, heck I get Irish confused in there too!
8born8 18
No need to be a linguist, you just need to either live there or speak to an actual Englishman.
Blippety 23
If OP's mother had said "English accent" I'd agree - but she didn't, she said "British". Britain includes Scotland and Wales, and Scottish, Welsh and English accents sound nothing like each other.
Ziggy122 15
Why do people have to be such snobs about accents? EVERYBODY generalizes accents outside of their own country. Nobody outside the US distinguishes a Philly accent from a New York accent. We were always taught "The British are coming! The British are coming!" in our history classes, so it's just hardwired into my brain to refer to anything from England as "British", even though Great Britain is three countries.
mFUNdo21 17
I thought there were 4 countries? England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales...
lysx84 24
I'm glad someone has pointed out that it's the English who are thought of when the word "British" is used. Bring on Scottish independence...
8born8 18
The same could be said for Australia, however it will never happen. It's all too political. Blah.
lemmalongsnail 15
England, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales :-)
Crofty92 17
#82, #98. Great Britain us made up of England, Wales and Scotland. The United Kingdom is GB and Northern Ireland.
hellohan 1
#102 Thank you for saying that!! I should also point out that by saying 'Ireland' you could be referring to the island, which is split into 26 counties that make up the Republic of Ireland, and the 6 that for Northern Ireland, which is a sovereign state of the United Kingdom. Ireland is not in the UK, only Northern Ireland is. Contentious issue, be careful!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
They're from Briton, there for a British accent.
esines 9
Briton huh? I think you may mean Britain.. Also I say YDI to OP for bein a smartass. Either way the accent is from Britain. People say "American accent" even though there's many accents within the U.S. Like southern or New York
geekchick88 17
Also, it's "therefore", not "there for".
shutterbug2947 7
At least you got "they're" right.
boredinjp 17
Why so surprised? If you want to fight, you'll get a fight.
olpally 33
She is stupid. My god. Ignorance is bliss I guess or turns into blind rage when called out on being ******* stupid. I should probably take my own advice. *thumbs self down*
Conn3ct 9
You may be my least favorite in the whole FML community.
olpally 33
I don't care.^ This isn't a ******* popularity contest. Idiot.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
If you really don't care then what was the propose of the name calling? or even the replying? seemed pretty defensive for someone who 'doesn't care'
CharresBarkrey 16
What was even the point of commenting this if at the end you turn around and decide that you're stupid yourself and intend to thumb yourself down? Just hit 'Cancel' and move on. You don't need a comment for every FML, they'll survive without your buried comments.
captaincarlz 17
There is such a thing as a British accent. It's an accent that originates in Great Britain. Therefore it can be English, Irish, Welsh, or Scottish.
mFUNdo21 17
just curious, would a south african accent be 've Afrikaansish accent or the English one that almost sounds Australian?
lysx84 24
Wouldn't it just be a South African accent?
8born8 18
The South Africans or 'springboks' kind of sound like a kiwi (a white New Zealander, not Maori who are dark skinned), us Aussies tend to have a certain 'twang' or 'whine' in our accents, but unfortunately it's slowly losing its' richness as the youth of today try to sound like a 'homie from the hood' (no offense to any American) and follow the trends of YOLO & SWAG.
Blippety 23
21, except that when someone says "British accent" they are never thinking of a Scottish or Welsh accent, only ever an English one. Also, Great Britain does not include Ireland, "The United Kingdom" is used when referring to Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland.
gracehi 33
Sorry, but while what you said about there being numerous regional accents throughout Britain was true, you were being obnoxiously pedantic. But even so, you weren't entirely correct. Yes, someone from Liverpool will speak differently than someone from London, but both those places are in England and they are therefore both English accents. Just like someone from Georgia sounds different than someone from Boston, but they are both American accents. And you can't expect your non-English mother to be intimately familiar with the various accents throughout England. She just used the most appropriate term she knew to describe his accent. Can't blame her for that. Or did you mean that Ireland, Scotland, and Wales are also parts of Great Britain, and therefore an English accent isn't exclusively British? Because if so, that's even more obnoxious, because it's generally understood that, although it's not technically correct, that the terms "British" and "English" are interchangeable, and that English people consider themselves British, while the Welsh, Scottish, and Irish don't. Try telling a Scotsman he's British and marvel at the black eye you'll receive. Anyway, you clearly knew what your mother meant, and just wanted to correct her for the sake of correcting her. YDI.
SJParker 13
Preach on, brotha!
prinzess_fml 25
Yeah, in German they would call OP a better-knower (Besserwisser), which definitely isn't a compliment.
geekchick88 17
Yeah, OP, I honestly hope you're not expecting sympathy. You sound like the kind of annoying know-it-all that everyone makes fun of behind their back. I understand that there are multiple different accents in Great Britain, but there was nothing at all wrong with your mom calling it a British accent because she was technically correct. It was an accent that originated in Britain. I am sorry she accused you of lying, because you weren't, but YDI for being so technical and nitpicking about something so absolutely ridiculous.
honeymoonroyale 20
Proof that anyone can be a parent...
8born8 18
WTF does ops' mums' parenting skills have to do with it? Here's two pieces of 'mumdom' (mum wisdom) that my mum passed down to me: 1) Think before you speak. 2) quite while you're ahead.
Rosebudx 32
When I was over in England, my flatmates talked to my American friends and I about how our American accents sounded so strange. My American friends and I are all from different parts of the country, but it isn't like they were able to pick out Northern California from Chicago and New York from Southeastern Ohio, if you get what I mean.
perdix 31
#28, you know people from southeastern Ohio? Really?
Rosebudx 32
@Perdix: I do know a few people from Southeastern Ohio, actually. It probably has something to do with the fact that I was born and raised there and still call it home.