Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML
Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, an elderly gentleman customer decided to tell me that while I'm not attractive at all, he'd still bang me all the same. Then he gave me a pained smile, like he was struggling not to shit himself, and left. I'm starting to hate working retail. FML
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Direct him to the diaper section. Those are white...
goodwithoutgods 20
That's actually not a bad idea
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Comments (89)
Sigilwen 24
Well, hope he didn't try on pants after that...
summer135790 15
**** YOUR life? More like **** HIS life lol
ohmygawwwwwwh 4
isn't that kinda a fhl?
maronofhearts 19
I don't really see how this is an fml for you Now if he shit his pants there and showed you that would definitely be an issue otherwise it's just a bit of TMI
ConstantlyAnna 8
Let me guess?.... Bogan Logan???
grtfuldeadlovr 27
He just wants to make sure it's completely clean when he washes it.
bfowler19 7
Diapers are white too, he should wear those
tehdarkness 21
Aww, I hope I don't poop my pants when I'm old.
TheDuckOfShame 11
This isn't in any way, shape, or form -' FML for you, it's more for him
Wolfmomma23 4
Well at least he's honest.