Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I babysat a four year-old kid, so his parents could go out to party. Once in bed, he yelled, "I want to go party!" After three or four times, I told him to go to sleep. Two hours later, he'd wet the bed, saying, "I told you I want to go potty!" FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Brandosyn 0
Should be no problem as long as the story ended with you dying while taking them with you in a blaze of glory...
bryan314 0
Heh...either you managed to annoy him in some manner or he's just one of those kids who is interested in death. One of the kids I tutor, a very cheerful child otherwise, is always going off on xxx killed yyy or xxx killed god. Probably because it gets a rise out of his mom. I think I would have just told the story....well, the first chapter. The only story where I die at the end is my autobiography. "You asked for it, Kid. My autobiography, chapter 1: birth..." Then I would threaten to tell the next chapter next time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (44)
Ikz_Hustler 9
Ohmadaiz thats funny LOL :DDD
xX_LilSammie_Xx 4
this is where you make up a story about how you wait til they're in bed, then you lock them in their rooms and set the house on fire, but you don't get away in time and burn with them
brieslew 0
ha. I remember saying mean things to my babysitter even though I didn't dislike her.
EPICROCKERNINJA 8
That is so freaking messed up
Gut_fml 4
Hahahahahaha! I read this in the FML book. Even funnier the 2nd time!
rcbarnes 24
I think it could use some other fear-inducing elements, too. :-P
L1LK3V13 0
Kids say the darndest things, don't they?
sarah56195 0
I laughed so hard at this one. Lololol
Nanael_fml 4
You should tell them one where a burglar breaks in and kills them all and then you last
IMthephoenix 12
Sounds like my children. I apologize on behalf of their mom!