Bad vibes

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

Today, my enjoyment of popping bubble wrap was yet again ruined by my excessive OCD tendencies. FML

Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened the box, almost every single bubble had been popped. At the bottom of the box, there was a sticky note that said, "Sorry." FML

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

Hoarded in

Today, as my gaze went from the cobwebs hanging from my ceiling to the opened and unopened Amazon boxes in the corners of my house, I realized I'm on my way to being a hoarder. I'm too tired and depressed to do anything about it. FML

Life's a beach

Today, I finally beat depression by going for a walk on the beach. I couldn't contain myself and happily played in waist-deep water as I walked. I realized my keys for my car, mail, house, and work had fallen out of my pockets and into the ocean, never to be seen again. FML

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML