Today, as my gaze went from the cobwebs hanging from my ceiling to the opened and unopened Amazon boxes in the corners of my house, I realized I'm on my way to being a hoarder. I'm too tired and depressed to do anything about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother is a hoarder and her stuff has taken over the whole house, my bedroom included. I've always felt trapped in my home, but when I can't use my closet or dresser because of her and have a messy room because of it, I feel like I can't breathe. In 3 years I'm moving out, I wish it would come faster. FML
Today, I cleaned my room, which I’d been putting off for ages. Halfway through, I sat down “just for a second” to check my phone. Two hours later, I was still scrolling, surrounded by half-sorted piles of stuff. When my roommate walked in and asked if I was reorganizing or giving up, I didn’t know. FML
Today, I went over to my mom’s place to attempt to help her clean up, as she’s a hoarder. I was devastated to see that in order to make room for all the unnecessary new crap she buys, she stored all of our childhood toys, photos and the like outside in uncovered bins. It’s all completely ruined. FML
Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML
Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML
Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML
Today, I got round to organizing my apartment, sorting everything into boxes and shelves. However, due to my arbitrary sorting method, I now can't find everyday things because they're not in their usual place (in a clutter on my desk), including the charger cable I used five minutes ago. My place looks organized. My life does not. FML
Today, I'm a hoarder, and my boyfriend has had enough. He asked if I wanted to save an empty orange juice jug. I know this is the end of our relationship and end of my life. I'm sorting through all my stuff and deciding what to throw away and what to give away. FML
Today, I realized I'm so tired of cleaning houses all day to come home to a dirty house that I don't have the energy to clean. I need to hire my own cleaning lady. FML
Today, after I finally recovering from being ill, my husband complained about the house being messy, that I needed to clean up after myself. I filled 2 large tote bags with his stuff laying around the house, and one small stack of medical bills for me. It took me hours to clean. But I'm the messy one. FML
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Top comments
Denita House 5
take care of one thing every day! As you get it cleaned up you will feel better because you accomplished something! You got this! I believe in you!!
Crash1976 5
You have obviously no clue about how depression works. You can chant all the positive mantras you want, but until you get to the core of the problem, it still remains. It may be emotional and it very well may be chemical. There may not be enough seratonin and/or norepinephrine in OP’s brain and she would benefit from an antidepressant that acts as an SSRI or Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor. Just my humble opinion.
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Comments (12)
Felice Godin 19
you shouldnt let your tiredness or depression get in the way what you got to do are you gonaa let tiredness and depression. stop you from living and hold you down the answe should be NO
silvermoon5033 26
It can be more complicated than that. Some people need legitimate help like therapy or medication to combat depression. It almost can make it impossible to do anything. Yes, it does come down to choices, but it's much much more than "just don't let it hold you down".
Crash1976 5
You have obviously no clue about how depression works. You can chant all the positive mantras you want, but until you get to the core of the problem, it still remains. It may be emotional and it very well may be chemical. There may not be enough seratonin and/or norepinephrine in OP’s brain and she would benefit from an antidepressant that acts as an SSRI or Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor. Just my humble opinion.
Huldan MeGroyn 13
This this this. Stop telling people how they should feel. If it is actual depression, it's not something that can be logic'd out. That's not how that shit works. It's not logical. We know it's not logical. That doesn't stop it from happening. "Don't let it get you down" it's the same shit as telling you to "breathe" when you're feeling out in an argument with your s/o. Doesn't help. At all.
MadJess 15
You, Felice, have obviously NEVER dealt with -or know any one who had- any type of mental illness! What a callus and insensitive thing to assume! That is exactly how that illness works for a lot of people! They can’t just ‘buck up & get over it’! Don’t you think, if they had that option, they would have done so already???
Denita House 5
take care of one thing every day! As you get it cleaned up you will feel better because you accomplished something! You got this! I believe in you!!
Anonymus123 2
I have felt that for years now, just something you gotta live with, try to embrace it in order to become a better person and just keep moving on I feel you 😓
slym12312425 9
pick one thing each day and do it while refraining from undoing your previous days work. as you accomplish more, your mental state may begin to improve along with your physical health, giving you more energy. if all else fails, see a therapist. a lot of people don't like to think this, let alone say it, but we all need a professional to help us sometimes.
silvermoon5033 26
OP, I have suffered with depression and several health issues that make things seem impossible. There is nothing wrong with seeking help-either from talking to a therapist or seeking medical help. Some conditions like depressive bipolar or even thyroid issues can be the underlying cause of depression/tiredness. Seek help and don't give up! You have the support of at least this random person from the internet (and probably many more)!
shannon2348 14
I'm sorry. I feel your pain.
Sonotsuave 37
I’ve definitely been there. I’m sorry for what you’re going through and unfortunately the world demands a lot out of us to make us tired and sometimes feeling down. However what I always tell myself is I have to try my hardest to be as productive as possible. It may seem overwhelming now, but if you make a schedule and break it down little by little, it’ll get done and you’ll feel better being clutter free.
pins91 27
This sounds like a cry for help, not necessarily a **** my life.
Alup132 22
I mean if you’re too depressed to clean your life, FML sounds fair...
jbuckets_404 39
OP, try to work on something (same or different) for 10 mins every hour. More often than not, once you get through that first minute or two (the hardest of all), you'll find yourself wanting to continue past said 10 mins until your selected chore is done (or at least significantly well along if you choose to stop either by choice eg, favorite tv show or it's dinnertime, due to a logistical problem, or due to something else beyond your control eg, sorting through all of your dirty laundry, but not taking it to the laundromat until another day). It also helps if you play music while doing chores to positively occupy your mind! :-) I have the sames issues with clinical depression, procrastinating, and then chastising myself for not getting anything done. The most self-defeating word in the English language is "should." It conveys guilt if you don't effect some action that you've (or somebody else) has decided that "should" be carried out. Instead, tell yourself that it's in your own best interests to execute said unpleasant/ undesirable task, but also that you "could" do said Task "A" at that moment or at a later time if you've instead told yourself that you've decided not to do that task, but instead Task "B." Also, you ought/ need (NOT "should") to see a psychiatrist (or qualified nurse practitioner) to determine whether or not you're serotonin-deficient and thus in need of an anti-depressant medication. My mom & I have taken those on a daily basis for our entire adult lives and they have worked well. It's no different than needing to take any other type of medicine for your entire life. However, via the practical approaches of mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT; among other types of BT) along with a psychologist - which are all good strategies nonetheless for everybody on the planet- depressed or not, you may find that you no longer need an anti-depressant after 6 months or a year at long as you continue to implement whichever BT strategies work well for you. Good luck, OP! :-)
ocdeane 4
There's a show on YouTube called obsessive compulsive cleaners - I always use it as a motivation and sometimes there are useful hints.