Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
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Top comments
WeStayCrunk24x7 0
YDI for having house shoes
LilaBear 2
Shoulda trained your dog better.
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Comments (88)
thinmint 0
Really? Your dog strategically placed his asshole into your house shoe and shat exactly where you wouldn't see it when you slipped your foot in?? Some dog. Fake or you are the most unobservant eff on the planet.
angiechaton 0
House shoes hahahaa
DarkJoy_fml 5
You sound like an idiot and I would be down to harm you as well. Animals are much more intelligent than humans. They are non judgmental, live in peace with the environment and have better instincts. Just cause you know how to get on a computer and type some shit about animals being inferior does not make you intelligent. Get your head out of your ass and stop encouraging people to drill in ANWAR.
Starfire22 5
DarkjoY you win!!
Melly18 0
Wtf is a house shoe?? A slipper?
azure8787 0
haha this makes me think of what Eric Cartman would say in this situation... "oh god DAMMIT!"
roryriddle 5
think about it. a house shoe is a slipper... sheesh
mike_dancefloor 0
i call fake because this is the third FML with her name on it that i've noticed. the last 2 were back to back. nobodies real life is that ******
NewJoisey 0
wtf. ydi for having a turd filled house. and 'house shoes' who has 'house shoes' thats so stupid.
ozymandias_fml 0
YDI for having 'house shoes', and an untrained dog.