Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
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Top comments
RJB 0
I bet the dog read your mind about what you wanted to do to him..dont lie...
yessirfosho 0
The dog or the boss?
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Comments (170)
blastvortex 4
Good boy...... er... bad dog... yeah, that's what I meant to say.
KurouTenshi 0
At least your boss didn't choke on a dinner roll and die, and then have your place of work demolished to make way for some effed up hospital :O
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Family guy reference WIN^^
stinkytruck 0
I would shoot the dog and call my boss a pussy
goarrows 0
ur a ******* dick you know that right?
quikwit1212 0
Someone's got dog issues.
Ardell 0
Don't you watch The Dog Whisper? Show dominance. do a quick strike to the side of his neck or something with a few fingers. you have to be the pack leader. ;] Try it on your boss, too. Maybe he'll give you a raise if you prove yourself more dominant than him.
DogmaT_fml 4
"i want a raise" "no" "Get em lucy!"
omgwtffmmfl 0
Boss should have bit it back.
markisunder0ath 0
YDI for saying supper.
aback 5
Passive aggression at its finest. Your dog is ill-behaved, so you sic him on people you don't like, then play all innocent. Your job is toast, Brainiac.
goldenone 2
this fml sucks..