Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonald's but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was doing my nightly exercises in the living room after my kids went to bed. My youngest got up and saw me doing some hip mobility moves that I’ll admit look a little weird. He then told his teacher that mommy was humping a pillow on the floor. FML
Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was babysitting four kids. I turned the TV on for them, and set the youngest on my lap. She started giggling and pointing at every single pimple I have, exclaiming "Boo-boo!" This went on for half an hour. FML
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Top comments
Mariebaz 11
"Mommy, look what the babysitter taught me!"
chickenwalrus 14
did the parents call you an ass hole? anyone? no? okay sorry.
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Comments (111)
perdix 31
Dumb kid! She confused the Macarena with the special, secret dance you taught her!
MrRayBans 8
Same thing happened when I was little. Scared the living shit out of my nanny. We kept her. It happened when I was three and we kept her until I was eight. Don't worry too much. My parents cracked up laughing. :D
every1luvsboners 11
Reminds me of the time I went to KFC for some fried okra and shiken and ended up in the bathroom with an 89 year old lady walking around with her pants around her ankles and shrapnel hanging from her arse because she couldn't find the toilet paper.
Javee 17
Yeah! Dat ass!
unknown_user5566 27
What is "shiken"? Sounds exotic. ;)
ManInTheMachine 20
'Shrapnel'..haven't heard that term bef--HOLY SHIT IT'S BONERS! I haven't seen you comment in a while.
Archay 13
Doc is back now boners ( hopefully ) if only flockz and freeze would come back good times would be achieved.
Fmls4life 6
Whos freeze? And is there a Doctor Who??
Briiyahh 7
Haha kids! :D
1soda1pOp1 6
If that's the spin she puts on the Macarena, just imagine how she will be dancing when she gets older. :O
TheElderTROLLZ 15
"How's my asshole, mom? That man said he was massaging it with his finger, then with a hot dog."
anoellem 1
That's not a part of the dance?
PerfasarusRex 3
Apparently I've been doing it wrong my whole life too.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Ahhh kids and their creativity :P
Kibaruto 33
Don't teach her any Michael Jackson moves, for the love of god... Then again, do it. Do it then upload the results to YouTube.
ydi_4_suking 20
OP might get in trouble for some unwanted child **** videos
ZestyPepper 4
That sounds like a pretty cool toy.