Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML
Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
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Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
What idiot doesn't look at what he takes?
DocBastard 40
YOU DON'T KNOW ME! *runs away sobbing*
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Comments (118)
ElricMustang 23
But if he was able to impregnate himself, having both ovaries and sperm, how would he get them to each other?
DespairFaction 11
SkoomaKi we still need women for their boobs.
Pilkipedia 8
Dumb comment
ant1ion 12
76 No he'll be back he just went to change is pic and have the baby before he can talk to you again
ItsTheMo 10
Pain medicine definitely makes you grow ovaries if you don't already have them, to counteract the ovary-growing qualities. It's a widely known fact.
aJaguarinRed 9
Actually midol DOES help with migraines. A lot of people take midol just for that purpose.
kei1108 13
I'm, sorry, but your boyfriend is a doof.
toothfairy9603 1
And you seriously call this "guy" your boyfriend?
IW_RIOT 7
What idiot doesn't look at the pill bottle their taking????
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Sounds like he's a stupid See You Next Tuesday.