Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML
Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
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Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
What idiot doesn't look at what he takes?
DocBastard 40
YOU DON'T KNOW ME! *runs away sobbing*
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Comments (118)
wlddog 14
#96 - your profile picture leans heavily against your comment. @Noor Once again you have reminded me why I am president of your fan club. @DocBastard I am sure your clone will be lovely and you two will get along splendidly. Perhaps you will get to skip mothers day,,,, or would it be fathers day??? Either way, you shouldn't be allowed both days. That would spoil you.
Silverangel007 3
Congratulations, you are dating an IDIOT
GhostDuck 30
No, it takes a week for them to grow in. Silly goose.
DaGrimRetard 8
Death at a funneral moment, they ain't valium =)
Il_Maestro 6
The world cannot handle 2 DocBastards.
DocBastard 40
Try telling that to my children. I'm grooming both of them to be just like me. Muhahah etc etc.
hateevryone 15
And he's going to get pregnant.
Arrawyn 12
It's just like lesbian sex, but way better!
FarscapeSDC 9
Time for you to get a new boyfriend. Maybe you should start giving your boyfriends IQ tests before you start dating them, just to make sure that they are in fact smarter than a turnip.
SleepySloth 4
And this is why women are the superior sex