Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend took some extremely strong painkillers that unfortunately gave him a giddy sense of euphoria. He then stripped naked in his parents' lounge room and yelled, "You've all seen it before!" His really religious parents didn't know this. FML
Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML
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Top comments
DawnShadow_fml 5
What idiot doesn't look at what he takes?
DocBastard 40
YOU DON'T KNOW ME! *runs away sobbing*
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Comments (118)
mikeymayhem_87 15
At least his cramps and bloating will subside!
SydMadrid 0
Your boyfriend might want to buy some light tampons
redreynard 14
I'm sure this was all part of OP's master plan to poison him. Women and their trickery.
SkoomaKi 28
Good god... If that were to happen, there would be no need for women...
jwebster 8
Give him tampons and tell him to find a good man cause you don't eat pussy.
ColdplaySucks 18
I dont know what makes him more of an idiot, the fact that he didn't look at the pill jar or the fact that he thinks he'll grow ovaries...
HandsomeRatch 20
And if he could get pregnant with his own sperm in that case, how would he deliver the baby? Hmmmmmm.
OhDearBetrayal 25
37- Pretty sure the latter wins that one.
jaredofmo 22
Bill Cosby had a comedy story where he had a terrible headache and his landlady gave him Mytol for it and it worked. He then went to a drug store to pick some up for next time and got some weird reactions from the pharmacist. I like that story.
SeedlessMe 13
Wow, not to sound totally lame here, but holy shit! My dad used to have this on record. Good stuff man. Funny too, I was just talking about it a couple weeks ago while convincing my guy friend to try midol for his headache. (which worked great btw!) haha
Awsumuzzie 12
38, c-section. But since it's his own egg and sperm, isn't he pretty much cloning himself?