Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother and I got mugged. As I stood there paralyzed with fear, she grabbed the mugger from behind as he escaped, and gave him a suplex, knocking him out. Then, as if nothing happened, she dusted herself, picked up our things, held my hand, and said, "Come on baby, let's get you a clean pair of shorts." FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Be proud! Not many people can truthfully say that their grandmother is an actual badass.
yuup96 11
fyl? naaah f their life! they were just dominated by a grandma. she's a boss!
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Comments (105)
kurodansei 16
Granny Get Some If You Dare.
Welshite 40
I herd that movie was fantastic.
Angio113 10
This might be the most badass thing I've ever heard. Well, this and that time I found out babies are born without Kneecaps. They just grow their own. That's pretty bad ass, too.
Bibliovore 26
(Babies actually DO have kneecaps at birth, but at that point they're mostly cartilage; the bone starts to fill in when they're around 3 to 5 years old.)
CaptMurdock 25
Man, I wish my grandma was that badass.
eandspappa5 5
Your gran is ******* amazing
whatthefreshhell 15
That's not an FML, your grandma is boss! Way to go, grans
chanellgymnast 17
No one messes with yo badass of a grandma! Woo!
Aryn16 14
hahaha you think that's bad.? that's amazing.!
msbitz 10
that's pretty awesome actually you should be proud
megank12 17
Your grandma sounds pretty ******* awesome.
PenguinBitch 44
Hardcore grandma. Her cookies are actually ninja throwing stars. :P