Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours, while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up, my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML
Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
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Top comments
friedkabob1225 0
i love how the fml is your brother pulling out your leg hairs not the fact that you almost died
0mggirl 0
that sucks, i had a collapsed lung this summer and it's horrible. good luck.
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Comments (136)
nomansland_fml 0
Your brother is a dick. WHen you heel, beat him up.
KenMcGormick 0
**** Your Life for having such a brother... You Deserved It for posting on FML with a collapsed lung when you should be resting... I gave u both... But This 1 is surely a fake
FreakingFYou 13
you do know that they can write it months after the date right? they are just required to put today in the front and fml at the end. if you are going to use fml at least know how it works dumbass.
UltimateIdiot911 0
@31 It was a woman. Like someone said above, it's funny how the FML is the brother pulling your leg hair oppose to nearly dying from a crash.
airandfingers 0
YDI for that hanging participle.
mikey41414 0
LOL! I would beat the SHIT out of the little prick, however on the other hand I would probably have done something similar to my brother...
Surfsnaked 0
He wanted to make sure you weren't faking
roxienordstrom 0
i heard this one before
rverboom 0
Well pretty sure you're full of shit. If you were in the hospital recovering from a collapsed lung, you wouldnt be sitting at your computer like a fat kid writing about getting in a car accident. Pretty sure you'd be in the hospital RECOVERING and thinking about your collapsed lung (which is pretty serious) rather than writing your life story on a stupid site. Stupid people.
SirJamin 4
Someones having a bad day.
Pittfan557 0
#39 you are truely retarted he is sitting in the room all day what do you want him to do... come on think about it you make no sense... come on now
allstarplayer324 0
#39 your actually stupid. Just because the story starts with today doesn't mean it happened today. It is how FML's are formatted...fail on your part!