Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 6 a.m., the cops burst into our home. My husband was slammed to the ground and I had a gun pointed at me. I was naked and eight months pregnant. We had moved in the day before, they were coming to arrest the previous tenant. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, security had to break up a fist fight in the labor & delivery unit. After giving birth, my roommate was attacked by the baby daddy’s wife. However, a second man was also there and started fighting the couple. It was a total melee so I grabbed both babies and hid in the bathroom. FML
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML
Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
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Top comments
stife7 13
What did u think you would sound like giving birth?
jpsullivan 36
warning your neighbours would have been a much appreciated act. congratulations all the same
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Comments (109)
StellaNox 16
Oh my! Sorry, but that made my day. Danish police at their finest :)
Isa_fml 20
What... exactly did you expect? I mean, it can get kinda noisy. Regardless, congrats to you!
life_smh 15
Ha well I didn't see that one coming
CuteCammy 15
At least the cops were just trying to do their jobs... Congratulations on the baby though
derpina72 23
Sucks that the moment was ruined, but at least you know your neighbors care, right?
missbrit818 20
At least you have a baby! Congrats!
jen1097 25
Would you call the police if you heard screaming for hours next door? This isn't an fml..
SuperMew 22
I can understand wanting to have your kid in the comfort of your own home, but I can also imagine how annoyed/pissed/freaked out your neighbors were. Next time (if you plan on another) either let your neighbors know what is going on or go to the hospital. I guess 20/20 highsight.
ninjahesten 18
Tillykke :D
doubleofuck 20
Hopefully the baby will be quieter than the birth. Probably not but fingers crossed