Today, my husband got fired from his government-mandated "volunteer" work due to a sexual harassment complaint he filed. He's morbidly obese and still gets more attention in the years we've been together than my whole life. FML
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems to be making thousands doing it, so why not? Turns out that the only people interested in my body are scammers. FML
Today, at my new retail job, I accidentally referred to white tank tops as, "Wife beaters." That's what I thought they were actually called, until my boss had to correct me. FML
Today, two people at work - both higher up than me - called me out for "stomping" when I walk up stairs. I have a disability that causes this. We work at a place specifically for disabled people. FML
Today, like the rest of the past year, I had to hear my roommate as he works as tech support from home. The man does not have an "inside voice" but echoes across multiple floors like a tuba, as he debugs people's software issues over the phone. Talking to him about it only makes him angry… and louder. FML
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, I got congratulations at work for being "so focused" and "not spending time on my phone." I didn't have the heart to tell my manager I don't spend time on my phone because I have no friends to talk to. FML
Today, like every day, I scrolled through my social media feeds, seeing happy couples, people buying houses and landing their dream jobs. I, on the other hand, am a single 23 year-old man in a dead end job, who still lives with his parents. FML
Today, my husband said a cheery, "Hi!" to me after 4 hours of nonstop Zoom calls. I spun around happily and greeted him back. Turns out he just joined another Zoom call. FML
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
Today, I just finished a client meeting. I couldn’t stop stuttering and couldn’t answer their questions. Towards the end, they just ignored me. I’ve been in the job for a year. I’m pretty much in tears now. FML
Today, while working as a manager in a busy restaurant, I was hit in the face by a grandmother with a balloon, calling me a motherfucker, while her granddaughter chucked a salad plate into the kitchen. Why? I told them they had to leave at 10, which is currently pandemic law in my state. FML
Today, after years of battling mental health and unemployment, I was rejected from a job packing tomatoes. Apparently I'm unsuitable for even the most basic work. FML
Today, a house I'm working in burned down overnight. My entire cordless tool line up and everything else needed to remodel a 3-story home is gone. Almost $14000. The only way I will be somewhat, maybe, possibly, reimbursed is if I stay on to rebuild the home. I don't have anything left to even start. FML
Today, I found out my email hasn't been working for 10 days. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but it just so happens that a position opened up for my dream job while this was happening. I would have gotten the job, but instead they gave it to someone I just finished training. FML
Today, I was yelled at by multiple people at work for not wearing any makeup. The only reason I don’t wear makeup is because my mom is guaranteed to make me cry before I leave the house every morning, so there’s no point. FML
Today, at work as a manager at pizza place, I got yelled by a customer because they got one fewer paper plates than they asked for. FML
Today, my temporarily unemployed husband had a brain wave. I'm five months pregnant and we have a 4-year-old. He thinks we should start a family vlog on YouTube, so we can get rich. I hate those awful family vlogs with a passion. FML
Today, I was written up for bringing my son to work. For safety reasons, bringing kids to work is strictly prohibited. I don’t have any kids. FML
Today, I had a huge amount of work to get through. Two colleagues offered to help, because one had nothing else to do, and the other couldn't work until I was done. My boss got really pissed at me for "making" them do my job and wasting their time. FML
Today, I apparently fell asleep during a work Zoom meeting. I awoke to no meeting on my screen and an e-mail from my boss saying I was terminated, and to do something about my "sleep apnea." FML
Today, I found out I make less money than the temps at my job by over 2 dollars an hour. I've been working there the longest and do 75% of the job myself. I was told, "We'll think about it" when talking to upper management about getting equal pay or close to. FML
Today, my friend is acting like a martyr over not wanting to get a job and guilt tripping me for having one. I mean, I hate my job but I also like my ability to pay bills, unlike some apparently. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is also a coworker, proposed to me in the parking of the store we work at when it was dark out. He came up behind me, and, thinking it was some creep, I stabbed him with my car keys. The scar will alway help him remember our engagement. FML
Today, I burped and sneezed during a job interview, I don’t think they were impressed by my talents. FML
Today, during a programming interview, I provided the right approach and the right answer as agreed by the interviewer, but used some extra variables with proper names. Guess who is not selected for the next round due to those extra variables. FML
Today, I had my half-year performance review. My boss arrived 15 minutes late, paid basically no attention to my presentation, and left 30 minutes early. I guess I’ll go fuck myself then. FML
Today, I overheard a co-worker tell the new guy not to talk to me because I'm a bitch. Apparently, she didn't like it when I told her two weeks ago that she had a drinking problem, which was affecting her work ethic. FML
Today, it's my ninth day off work. I should have been back 4 days ago, but whilst resting a swollen knee at home, I got a hair stuck in my eye so badly that I had to go to A&E at 4 a.m. to get it taken out. Now work won't let me come back until the resulting conjunctivitis clears up. FML
Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML
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