Anonymous · 25 December 2023, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Christmas shopping spree tip

Today, my husband held my hand for our entire Xmas Eve shopping trip. As soon as we got home, he and our son actually compared the receipts to last years Xmas Eve receipts, and declared it to be true that holding my hand stopped me buying so much crap, and saved over £150 compared to last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 915

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Anonymous · 17 December 2023, 06:00 ·United States

Long ass

Today, I went to the market and I was stuck in a long ass line for 10-15 minutes. To make things worse, in front of me was a guy bending down with his buttcrack all the way out. I couldn't eat anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 223

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Never enough

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 232 You deserved it 3 956

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skyeraven · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Cape Town, South Africa

Emotional

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 349 You deserved it 4 783

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Anonymous · 11 November 2023, 20:00

What a freak

Today, a manager mistook me for an employee because I was wearing a shirt I bought from that shop. He was yelling at me for not working and tried to grab me to stop me leaving. I had to punch him in the nose to get free, and as I ran he actually shouted that I was fired. I’ve never worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648 You deserved it 108

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Anonymous · 27 October 2023, 20:00

Money money money

Today, my fiancé and I got a joint account recently, but when I got home he was on the phone to the bank claiming our credit card number was cloned, because of the ridiculous number of random purchases. I checked my online banking. It was all just my normal buying habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 741

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jameen · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Tadley, United Kingdom

Silly idea

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856 You deserved it 47 293

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Anonymous · 19 October 2023, 07:30 ·Germany

Big Brother shopping task IRL

Today, I sent an important email to my entire team, but I accidentally left a shopping list as the subject line. They responded with grocery items they needed. Nobody mentioned the email content. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175 You deserved it 695

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Dylan · 15 October 2023, 06:00 ·Portland, United States

Classic

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 574

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bryans_fresh · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

The argument for fake IDs

Today, I wanted to use my gift card for a liquor store. I went to pay the cashier, who said he needed to see my license. I gave it to him, along with my gift card. After paying, he asked me if I wanted him to cut it up, since the card was now worthless. I said yes. He cut up the wrong card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 228 You deserved it 4 898

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Folding money · 12 September 2023, 05:00 ·United States

Just like starting over

Today, I was at Aldi when I realized I'd left my wallet at home. I tried to convince the cashier to let me pay with an IOU, but they just gave me a skeptical look and said, "This isn't the 1880s, dude." I had to leave my cart of groceries and walk out empty-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 You deserved it 1 596

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Jules · 5 September 2023, 04:00 ·Germany

Haggling wars

Today, at the grocery store, the scanner at the register gave a higher price for a product than the price tag on the shelf. Apparently I was the one being unreasonable for insisting to pay the price advertised on the shelf, and not some secret price they never told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733 You deserved it 121

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::Tracy:: · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Get it while you can

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 322 You deserved it 5 971

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Too many JCS videos

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 389 You deserved it 7 992

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cheapskate supreme · 9 August 2023, 00:02

Spending spree

Today, my husband guilt-tripped me for buying a $14 purse. According to him, my old one, with its busted zipper, frayed hems and holes in the interior, was still “perfectly good to hold all your crap.” I literally only have one purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978 You deserved it 125

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Anonymous · 15 July 2023, 15:00

Women be shopping, amirite?

Today, we've been saving for months. I thought we were saving for a down payment. Apparently, to my wife, "down payment" means "Amazon Prime Day savings fund." We had over thirty grand, now we've got less than five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 12 July 2023, 22:00

Customer service

Today, I handed a written complaint to a shop manager about an employee who had used foul language to my teenage daughter. I then watched as he took the complaint to the employee in question, they read it together, laughed, then the manager tore it in half and threw it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 1 077

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Anonymous · 9 July 2023, 03:00 ·United States

Tasty

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 You deserved it 905

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Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. · 10 June 2023, 15:00 ·United States

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176 You deserved it 1 296

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Anonymous · 9 June 2023, 15:00

Kids be shopping

Today, all I heard in B&Q was my daughter laughing hysterically in the next aisle and sure enough, when I ran around, my husband was completely engrossed in some discount item on a shelf, completely ignoring our daughter who had opened a bottle of some sort of oil and painted her whole head in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690 You deserved it 172

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crippled shopper · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Streamwood, United States

Help! I need somebody!

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 952 You deserved it 4 822

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Anonymous · 19 May 2023, 15:00

Stop embarrassing me!

Today, I discovered I don’t even have the dexterity to screw the cap back onto a bottle of soda without dropping it. Not only that, but mother saw the need to point it out and laugh at me, so people around us in the store stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609 You deserved it 137

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Anonymous · 13 May 2023, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Get on with it!

Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692 You deserved it 324

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they have no sense of humor · 28 April 2023, 18:00

Don't attempt this at home

Today, in an attempt to win a political argument, I recorded myself walking into a gun store and asking which gun would be best to hypothetically deal with my neighbor's annoying kids. I now have a recording of myself being chewed out, banned for life, and perp-walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 You deserved it 2 185

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Anonymous · 28 April 2023, 12:00 ·Nottingham, United Kingdom

Lesson learned

Today, my kid was lying on the floor in Morrisons screaming, no matter what I tried to do, until another mother came, picked him up, and dumped him in the trolley seat. She then looked me up and down and said, “Girl, he’s 4 years-old and 3 feet tall, grow some fucking backbone.” She was so right too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278 You deserved it 1 767

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St Steven · 15 April 2023, 00:00 ·United States

Deluxe Memory Man

Today, I went grocery shopping but once at the store I realized that I'd forgotten my shopping list at home. I ended up buying a bunch of random items using basic guesswork and forgetting what I had originally gone to the store for. I now have two avocados, even though I hate avocados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 1 280

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Anonymous · 11 April 2023, 00:00

Surprise indeed

Today, to surprise my boss who promoted me within the first two months of my new job, I offered to take him and a couple of coworkers out to eat. We had one minor inconvenience: my bank card declined. I was 200$ in the negative. Apparently my wife decided to take the kids winter clothes shopping. It’s fucking April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078 You deserved it 257

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Anonymous · 9 April 2023, 11:00 ·United Kingdom

He hath risen

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782 You deserved it 200

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Pauper · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Broke

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 356 You deserved it 4 483

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Anonymous · 17 March 2023, 16:00 ·Hastings, United Kingdom

Let me out!

Today, I got stuck in a dress in the fitting room and had to call the sales associate for help. She had to crawl under the door to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 474

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