Anonymous · 14 April 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Where are you?

Today, it's been three weeks since my parents went on holiday and not only have they not called me, they don’t answer when I call them… until today, when my mom finally called me, whilst I was having sex. She then sent me a text outlining how rude it was I ignored her call and grounded me. I’m 24 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 14 April 2024, 00:00

Boss man

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536 You deserved it 180

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Guess I'll Die · 13 April 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Thanks for nothing

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338 You deserved it 462

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Anonymous · 12 April 2024, 16:00 ·Saskatoon, Canada

Old soul

Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 168

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NotThisAgain · 11 April 2024, 12:00 ·Wallsend, United Kingdom

What's the word for that sort of thing?

Today, it's been 8 years since I relearned to walk with the help of great doctors, hospital staff, physios, and my common mobility aid. It's also the third day in a row that random men have approached me in public to try and school me on how I'm using my aid "wrong" and how they know better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 11 April 2024, 06:00 ·Germany

Overwhelmed

Today, any regular person might go to work, exercise, shower, shop for groceries, cook some food and spend time with friends. I barely manage to do ONE of those things on any given day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 209

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Anonymous · 10 April 2024, 22:00 ·Edmonton, Canada

Brave and honest

Today, I realized that the woman I love, who is my best friend, deserves better than me at the nadir of my life. We're still just friends, but she's been a much better friend to me than I have been to her. It's time to disappear and fix myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 453

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Anonymous · 10 April 2024, 14:00 ·Germany

Invaders

Today, the snails have been so prolific that not only have I lost any hope of growing vegetables this year, but they have actually eaten all the flowers off my crocuses, and the broom on the terrace looks like it’s wearing hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418 You deserved it 94

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A very comforting thought indeed · 9 April 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Emotional support

Today, it occurred to me just how dependent I am on my parents, and that I would be totally fucked if something happened to them. The state of the world right now makes it impossible for young people to get anywhere. Especially one who can't drive and can barely talk to anyone without having a panic attack. AKA: Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 575

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Anonymous · 8 April 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Won't somebody think of the landlords?!

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391 You deserved it 143

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Anonymous · 7 April 2024, 22:00 ·Edmonton, Canada

Hang in there

Today, I realized I’m so often high that being sober no longer feels "normal" to me. I don’t know any other way to cope with my emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 589

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Go vegan! · 6 April 2024, 22:00 ·United States

One step beyond

Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 You deserved it 1 422

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anon · 6 April 2024, 16:00 ·San Diego, United States

Take it easy

Today, I haven’t relaxed since I was 12. If I was making good grades, doing extracurriculars, instead of allowing me to go out, my parents would accuse me of doing something bad and ground me. In college I burned out due to poor social development. Even though I have a job, I'm still a “bum.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 561 You deserved it 122

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Anonymous · 6 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Between a rock and another rock

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 157

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Fast response

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 601 You deserved it 4 290

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sick of this · 2 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Tired

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 519

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dale · 21 March 2024, 09:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

This sucks

Today, I’m 24. I can either be employed and have money, but having to work weekend nights and have scattered days off, or I can be unemployed and not have money to go out enjoy my city. I haven’t had a weekend to myself since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404 You deserved it 420

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Anonymous · 14 March 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Performance

Today, my new neighbours' favourite sexual position is apparently for him to screw her up against the wall while she talks dirty. How do I know this? That wall backs right onto the headboard of my bed, and in this rented space my bedroom is too small for the bed to go anywhere else. I know, I've tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511 You deserved it 123

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Anonymous · 12 March 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Crossroads

Today, my husband of nearly a decade told me he's been sleeping with his best friend for a year, and also a couple times with my best friend. Marriage destroyed. Life in shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913 You deserved it 111

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ARFID · 12 March 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Pick on someone else

Today, I have a largely unknown and heavily stigmatized eating disorder that severely limits my food palate. It will most likely lead to a premature death if left untreated, and everyone I know - even doctors - just call me "picky" and leave it at that. I WANT to eat normally. Can't you understand? FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 221

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Anonymous · 10 March 2024, 12:00 ·Velika Kladuša, Bosnia and Herzegovina

Starcrossed

Today, I told him that I love him. He said the same to me. I do, with all of my heart and every bone in my body, but we would have to leave every bit of our lives to be together. Families who are on different sides of the gun. A history of hate among two nations. It's too much to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 187

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Candlestick Maker · 7 March 2024, 12:00 ·United States

What?

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment to figure out why I've suddenly started going deaf. As it turns out, for some reason my ears now produce wax at an alarmingly fast rate. "Enough to make an entire candle before long if you save it up," the doctor said when she cleared them out. I guess this is my life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494 You deserved it 90

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Any mouse · 6 March 2024, 06:00 ·United States

The struggle is real

Today, I'm a 46 year-old woman who hates online dating, and who is now single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 205

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This is why people are abandoning religion. · 5 March 2024, 12:00 ·United States

What if God was one of us?

Today, my parents have been slowly coming closer to figuring out that I'm an atheist. They've stated to me and my siblings since we were old enough to think independently that if any of us turned out to be atheists, they'd disown us. I'm not sure what to do here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577 You deserved it 197

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Anonymous · 5 March 2024, 09:00 ·Portsmouth, United Kingdom

What could've been…

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579 You deserved it 195

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pissedexworker · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

No excuses

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 562 You deserved it 2 505

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Anonymous · 5 March 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Lost the plot

Today, I went to Subway. A lady was in the line with her toddler. The kid screamed in his bid for attention, while his mother and the cashier ignored him, to the point that his voice became a loud screech and the sandwich artist couldn't hear me. I bellowed, "SHUT THAT KID UP!" Silence and glares followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620 You deserved it 407

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Anonymous · 4 March 2024, 14:00 ·Manchester, United Kingdom

Home sweet home, or not

Today, I returned from my holiday in Cairo and was planning to go straight to bed, seeing as I had landed at 2 a.m. All was going well, until I tried to open my front door and realised that I'd left my keys, my S23+ phone, and my wallet in the cab I took home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519 You deserved it 228

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Anonymous · 1 March 2024, 06:00 ·San Jose, United States

RIP Dipper

Today, I made the mistake of watching The Daily Show clip where Jon Stewart talks about losing his dog, and it made me think of my dog I lost. Then, right on cue, the song "Every Breath You Take" came on. Now I'm waiting for my doctor's office to open and sobbing in the car, with people staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 224

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Relieved of child-creating obligations · 29 February 2024, 09:00 ·Steele, United States

Strewth!

Today, my niece will be born in about three months, and I just realized I'm more excited about my mom no longer being on my case about when I'm going to make her a grandma than I am about being an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 118

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