Anonymous · 19 July 2024, 00:00 ·Southend, United Kingdom

Anthropomorphism

Today, I spent hours making an elaborate bird feeder for my backyard. It was finally ready, and I proudly hung it up, imagining the birds chirping happily. Instead, a squirrel discovered it within minutes, devoured all the birdseed, and then gave me a smug look before knocking the feeder to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 170

0 comment Share

Synneve · 18 July 2024, 20:00 ·Norway

Uncoordinated

Today, I tried to catch a rogue soccer ball at the park. I sprinted, leapt into the air, and managed to catch it. I also managed to trip on a picnic blanket, crash into a stroller (which was thankfully empty), and fall face-first into a salad bowl full of potato salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153 You deserved it 552

5 comments Share

Kilye · 18 July 2024, 09:00 ·Melbourne, Australia

More brain worms please

Today, I spent what seemed like an hour tearing apart my living room looking for the TV remote, only to find it in the fridge next to the milk. It turns out that last night I decided to put my cereal away in the entertainment center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 348

2 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Low blow

Today, I found myself crying in the bathroom because I started to feel lonely and depressed. My mother came into the bathroom, hearing me cry and gave me an hour long speech about what a beautiful human being I am… And to not forget to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 988 You deserved it 5 857

80 comments Share

Anonymous · 17 July 2024, 06:00 ·United Kingdom

You should be dancing, yeah?

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252 You deserved it 458

2 comments Share

Nicky · 16 July 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Experimental cuisine

Today, I was washing a sink full of lettuce that I'd grown, which had been in the hot sun. My husband was preparing fish for dinner and took all the juices that had drained off the raw fish, reached over my shoulder, and dumped the juice on my lettuce. I asked if that was the fish juice. He said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482 You deserved it 111

4 comments Share

Anonymous · 16 July 2024, 14:00 ·Bakersfield, United States

What? Why?

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 You deserved it 1 138

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 16 July 2024, 00:00 ·Capreol, Canada

What's the plan?

Today, and for the last two weeks, my husband has been playing hide and go seek with the internet router and my iPad to, I guess, try and punish/annoy me. I keep finding them, use them when he’s not home, and put them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 127

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 15 July 2024, 14:00 ·Warren, United States

It's Joever

Today, I had an extremely embarrassing moment when I tried to pay my restaurant bill. First, I tried swiping my card, only for it not to work. After the cashier suggested I insert my chip card, I tried putting it on the bottom, only for it not to be there. I finished by putting the card in the proper place upside-down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 174

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 15 July 2024, 06:00 ·Hornsey, United Kingdom

Is it just me or…?

Today, after I ghosted a good friend for 6 months due to mental health issues/dropping out/other life changes, it's been a week since I got back in contact, and I think she hates me now. I stalk her on social media sometimes on my laptop and she made a playlist called "What the F*** are you doing?" like 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 764

3 comments Share

Anonymous · 14 July 2024, 09:00 ·Litoměřice, Czechia

The first step is being able to admit it

Today, my grandmother hates me. So much so that I've become a rotten, desperate, and overall evil person with no thoughts and considerations towards other people. My family doesn't know this, but I can never undo the damage she has done to me since birth (as she raised me). I only care about my own well-being, nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 208

2 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

My favorite letter is L

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 114 You deserved it 51 314

136 comments Share

lefthandspanker · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Craig, United States

You must conform

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 361 You deserved it 1 719

60 comments Share

Anonymous · 12 July 2024, 09:00 ·Edmonton, Canada

Social life

Today, the high point of the day was seeing someone I don't see or talk to very often, and I realized that 99% of the reason we hang out is because I get along with her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 117

0 comment Share

Ryan · 12 July 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Role model

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 208

5 comments Share

Anonymous · 11 July 2024, 12:00 ·Dartford, United Kingdom

Shortass

Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 127

3 comments Share

JustAnotherFML23 · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Seattle, United States

Lonely, so lonely…

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 787 You deserved it 7 242

55 comments Share

Anonymous · 10 July 2024, 06:00 ·Cairo, Egypt

Thanks for the support!

Today, I was asked if I realized how much of a failure I am compared to everyone else. Yeah, I'm 32, and I feel like a complete failure. Almost everyone around me is a success, money coming in, their own place, trips non stop, new cars, and all the fuss. The problem is that I was asked this by one of my parents. I'm really tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 154

4 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·United States

Lost

Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 972 You deserved it 8 741

62 comments Share

Tough Crowd · 8 July 2024, 00:00 ·United States

So grateful

Today, I called my aunt to wish her a happy birthday. My mom and I proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday" to her. The first words that came out of her mouth were, "You guys are terrible singers." You're welcome, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389 You deserved it 184

2 comments Share

c-Ouch · 7 July 2024, 22:00 ·United States

On the move

Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 101

3 comments Share

smellybelly · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Smell test

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 612 You deserved it 4 739

122 comments Share

Anonymous · 7 July 2024, 16:00 ·Corozal, Colombia

Classic

Today, I was at a volleyball game talking with my friends when a girl who is in my team arrived. She was greeting someone else but I thought that she was saying hi to me. However, I'd already waved back at her. All my friends and others noticed the situation and as a result they laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 155

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 7 July 2024, 14:00 ·Salt Lake City, United States

Socially awkward

Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 395

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 7 July 2024, 12:00 ·Australia

Stars of CCTV

Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453 You deserved it 145

1 comment Share

Anonymous · 5 July 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Busted!

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 You deserved it 1 225

2 comments Share

I can't move out because of this economy · 4 July 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Let me be

Today, as usual, my parents hate to see me relax. Every time I'm not working, doing a sport, or doing chores, I must be working on some form of education to keep them at bay. Today, I had the day off and caught up on schoolwork. My parents woke me up at 6 AM by running the vacuum outside my door. "Go mow the lawn, you slob." FML

I agree, your life sucks 590 You deserved it 68

2 comments Share

Anonymous · 3 July 2024, 06:00 ·Austin, United States

High pressure

Today, I learned that not all toilets are created equal. I visited a friend's house, and their super fancy toilet decided to give me a surprise bidet experience. The water pressure was so high, I ended up soaking my clothes. I had to borrow my friend's brother's clothes. He’s 14. I’m 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 103

0 comment Share

Anonymous · 2 July 2024, 14:00 ·Canada

Hustle culture

Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 139

2 comments Share

whoops · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Pissed

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 863 You deserved it 2 539

6 comments Share