Phillip · 20 January 2025, 03:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Never again

Today, I ordered a pizza with extra cheese and no tomatoes. The pizza delivery guy handed me the box, and as I opened it, I discovered that they had delivered me a pizza… with only tomatoes and no cheese. I called the pizza place to complain, but they just said, “Well, tomatoes are technically fruit, so it’s healthy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485 You deserved it 113

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One pissed girlie · 19 January 2025, 22:00 ·Dublin, Ireland

Stained

Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 19 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Are you all OK?

Today, TikTok got banned. It was my place for when I’m bored. I’m literally crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 1 048

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Anonymous · 19 January 2025, 03:00

Date night

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 344 You deserved it 190

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Newny_Newny_Newny · 18 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

You OK, dude?

Today, I got home from work after working 16 hours straight. I was naked on the toilet, just about to get in the shower, scrolling through my phone when I nodded off and FaceTimed someone by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242 You deserved it 361

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??? · 17 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Introverts! Hide!

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 You deserved it 495

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Disappointment · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff ·Gresham, United States

Disapproving

Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 508 You deserved it 2 311

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Wow, really? · 17 January 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Knowledge is power

Today, I said that I wasn't expecting someone to say salt made a food sweet. My friend then decided to explain what salt is, a flavor enhancer, and "like when it's on the rim of a Margarita." Really? We're all in college and I'm the only one who keeps their grades up. I know what the fuck salt is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168 You deserved it 372

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Anonymous · 16 January 2025, 15:00 ·Fort Lauderdale, United States

Toxic AF

Today, my coworker/landlady drunkenly told me in front of her kids that she’s my mom. I’ve never felt like she treated me as her daughter - more like an assistant while she’s the boss. I can’t tell if she said it to make her kids jealous or for another reason, but now I’m just mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406 You deserved it 73

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Pokémon Loser · 16 January 2025, 03:00 ·Paranaque City, Philippines

Pikachu!

Today, a fresh gust of wind blew a really attractive woman's skirt up in front of me, revealing her yellow panties with Pikachu's face on it. Pulling her skirt down and giving me an evil leer, instead of apologizing, I somehow blurted out, "Pikachu!" imitating its voice. I ultimately got slapped on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 849

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Gizu · 15 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Impressive

Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 You deserved it 642

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Anonymous · 15 January 2025, 12:00 ·Barnaul, Russia

Content brainrot

Today, I was going to the cinema when a motorcyclist was hit at an intersection. I wanted to find out how he was, but I couldn't get through the crowd with their phones out. Fuck, people, what's wrong with you? You're going to die like this, and they're just going to film you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 115

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gross? · 15 January 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Higher standards of living

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 86

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Anonymous · 14 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

All set

Today, I was finishing up at the gym and packed my bag to come home. I set my phone on top of it for a second as I knelt down to tie my shoes. Less than a minute later, I grabbed my bag to walk out, forgetting that it was on top. It tumbled to the ground and smashed. Guess I need a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 377

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Deedee · 13 January 2025, 22:00 ·New York, United States

Dying inside

Today, I confidently walked into a coffee shop, ordered a cappuccino, and went to sit down. On my way over to read my book at a table, I knocked over a stack of chairs by tripping on a rug. The worst part? I had to sit there, sipping my drink, and reading the same sentence over and over again, while everyone watched me slowly die inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352 You deserved it 171

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Experience

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 177 You deserved it 3 154

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Anonymous · 13 January 2025, 00:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Good intentions

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly by bringing my own reusable coffee cup to the café. As I handed it over, the barista said, "Sorry, we can’t use that. It’s company policy." Guess who just looked like an overzealous hipster… FML

I agree, your life sucks 229 You deserved it 419

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Alma · 12 January 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Bad hair day

Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 191

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Anonymous · 12 January 2025, 09:00 ·Bath, United Kingdom

Lost in music

Today, I had my earbuds in while walking to work. I was so into a particular song that I didn't notice I was singing out loud despite people being around. A random jogger gave me a thumbs-up and said, "Shit voice, wrong lyrics." FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 You deserved it 502

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Notadrinkanddriveidiot · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Sketchy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the backseat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 782 You deserved it 47 677

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trgtyo · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Our pride and joy

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 038 You deserved it 3 731

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Anonymous · 9 January 2025, 15:00 ·Netherlands

Tennis

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 103

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LemmyIsWet · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Bathtime

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 962 You deserved it 27 950

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Sylvania, United States

Slasher

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 367 You deserved it 6 039

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163 You deserved it 444

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lilypanda333 · 8 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Is that even legal?

Today, I had a really good day out just to come home right before the electricity company closed for the day, to find out my payment hadn’t gone through and they'd turned it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 149

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 630

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Awkward Nelson · 7 January 2025, 20:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Floundering off

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit from a party after an argument by dramatically throwing my coat over my shoulder and storming out. The coat got caught on the door handle, and I had to awkwardly untangle myself while everyone stared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 104 You deserved it 604

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Anonymous · 7 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Just corpsing

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 7 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Same

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 186

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