Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML
Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML
Today, I crawled into bed at 2 in the morning. At 6 am, the telephone rang, waking me up. It was a wrong number. FML
Today, I'm on holiday, but my alarm clock isn't. It rang at 6 o'clock. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML
Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML
Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML
Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
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