HatedAndFearedForExisting · 26 March 2023, 16:00 ·United States

I wanna be oppressed so hard

Today, for the 50,000th time, I was told that something I said was offensive and triggering to my LGBTQ+-friendly Discord server mod, who frequently tells me that, as a "cis hetero Christian male", I don't know what I'm talking about. I was trying to be supportive of everyone, but I was wrong because *I* said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917 You deserved it 393

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forever alone · 24 February 2023, 16:00

Been there, done that

Today, I came to the unhappy realization that I’m living such a cliche. I’m completely in love with a totally unavailable man. He’s funny, smart, and drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way I could ever tell him how I truly feel. He’s gay and I’m a woman. We’ll never be more than friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833 You deserved it 355

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tokenTrans · 20 February 2023, 17:00 ·Thurmont, United States

Acceptance

Today, like many other days, I'm too scared to correct people calling me "ma'am" at work because I live in a small, ignorant town where I've already been harassed and threatened for daring to be trans. I've already had a friend tell me I look nothing like a chick, so what's the deal with customers? FML

I agree, your life sucks 735 You deserved it 795

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too close for comfort · 19 February 2023, 02:00 🌶️ Spicy

Bizarre love triangle

Today, my guy friend told me he wanted to try being with another guy. I told him I’d help him anyway I could. Who knew his “help” was him wanting me (a woman) to help him get hard since he couldn’t get it up for the guy? Guess not letting him grope me or jerk him off meant I’m unsupportive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546 You deserved it 271

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Anonymous · 8 February 2023, 16:00

Sounds like a sitcom

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 1 769

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trustworthy friend · 22 December 2022, 12:00

Great expectations

Today, the guy I’ve been hanging out with and crushing on told me we now know each other well enough to be completely open with each other. I was excited, thinking our mild flirtations would finally go further. He just wanted me to know he’s gay, and asked me if I knew any single guys for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963 You deserved it 202

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PleaseStop · 18 December 2022, 21:00

Delusional

Today, a female friend of mine keeps telling people we’re dating. No matter how many times I told her I'm gay and only attracted to men, she won’t take that for an answer. She’s actually arranged for me to meet her parents next weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408 You deserved it 244

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Anonymous · 8 December 2022, 04:00 🌶️ Spicy

So close, yet so far

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939 You deserved it 339

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Anonymous · 7 December 2022, 22:00

Love is love

Today, I'm a queer woman who's been in love for two years with my straight Muslim female friend. If she ever found out about my interest in her, she'd probably be disgusted. It also doesn't help that my homophobic/racist/xenophobic/islamophobic Catholic family would disown me if they found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965 You deserved it 407

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Ih8homophobes · 2 December 2022, 16:00

Supportive parents

Today, when I came out to my family, my mom told me in all seriousness she’d rather me be a prostitute than a lesbian. She added, “At least prostitutes have sex with men.” When I pointed out that lesbians can also be prostitutes, she kicked me out of the house. She’s changed the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295 You deserved it 265

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Anonymous · 19 November 2022, 10:00

Coming out

Today, I told my mom that I’m a lesbian. She was fine with it, supported me 100%, and it was a huge relief, until she followed up with, “Until you find a husband, then you’ll obviously have to stop all that.” The reason I even told her is because my girlfriend just proposed to me, and we’re engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196 You deserved it 202

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anonymous · 1 November 2022, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Ace of spades

Today, the guy I’d been seeing told me he’s asexual and our relationship would never go past holding hands. He called me a 'shallow bitch' after I told him we weren’t a match. Isn’t him asking me to give up sex forever the same as me asking him to have sex? Apparently not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512 You deserved it 223

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Anonymous · 28 October 2022, 22:00 ·Coventry, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Overcompensating

Today, my mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles came together to tell me they’re fine that I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have to be in the closet anymore. I wasn’t aware I was lesbian, I’ve been happily using men's penises since I was 19, but apparently I’m a secret lesbian. Go figure… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376 You deserved it 205

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GuyWhoCameOutFinally · 25 October 2022, 16:00 ·Eindhoven, Netherlands

Casual homophobia

Today, I came out to my parents and siblings as gay. They were very accepting and asked me why I waited until I was 25 to do so. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was their own homophobic remarks that kept me closeted since I realized it at 14, and that a previous coming-out to a parent was dismissed as 'a phase'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111 You deserved it 284

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Anonymous · 19 October 2022, 22:00

No means no

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130 You deserved it 124

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WhatTheactual · 15 October 2022, 04:00 🌶️ Spicy

No no fap season

Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509 You deserved it 675

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FirstGradeTeach · 5 October 2022, 15:00

Reactionaries need to pipe down

Today, I had a parent come in for a conference. When she stepped into my classroom, she immediately went on a rant about how I’m "woke indoctrinating" her child and threatened to homeschool her. She then stormed out. I had a rainbow chart of the colors and a poster of multicolored hands. I teach 1st grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536 You deserved it 195

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Bisexual moron · 5 October 2022, 08:00

Three's a crowd

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she cheated on me with my best friend. The best part is that I couldn't tell her a thing, because I actually cheated on her with the same friend before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222 You deserved it 1 745

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Anonymous · 5 October 2022, 00:30

Parents react to announcement [GONE WRONG]

Today, I came out as bisexual while we were in the car. My mom started crying behind the steering wheel, driving at 85 mph. She later told my dad, even though I asked her not to. My dad said, "Give it a month, he'll grow out of it." I realized I was bi 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 30 September 2022, 08:30 🌶️ Spicy

Big boy

Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742 You deserved it 1 393

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Anonymous · 28 September 2022, 01:30

Connect Four (GONE WRONG)

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700 You deserved it 606

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Frank · 19 September 2022, 09:00 🌶️ Spicy

We have so much in common

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years confessed to me that she had sex with my best friend before she started to date me. Funny thing is, I'm bi and had sex with the same best friend at around the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901 You deserved it 702

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Anonymous · 13 September 2022, 12:00 🌶️ Spicy

Harsh and unfair

Today, my soon-to-be-ex wife aborted our baby out of sheer spite after I caught her cheating with a man. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a mom, but I'm infertile. Also, I’m writing this from work because my boss wouldn’t let me have even one day to grieve, because I wasn’t the one who was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 992 You deserved it 450

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Foreverjerkingit · 11 September 2022, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Not into it, sorry

Today, it was my wedding night. My new wife decided that she was going to be “asexual” because “there are other ways to show your love without sex” and “If you wanna bust a nut, that’s what your hand is for.” She had the nerve to be confused as to why I am upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184 You deserved it 396

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Anonymous · 31 August 2022, 12:00

All you need is hate

Today, I wore a t-shirt that had a rainbow-ish multicolored design when I went to drop off my daughter at school. Another parent threatened to “call the authorities” on me for wanting to “poison” children with “f**got memorabilia,” and to “stop pushing my agenda” on them. I’m a straight dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170 You deserved it 196

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emopancake · 28 August 2022, 14:00

What do you take me for?

Today, I came out to my mormon mother as a pan enby, and told her I wanted to change my name. She asked how I came to this conclusion, so I told her how I’ve been secretly doing research on the topic. She says she supports me, but claims I broke her trust by lying for so long to avoid possible homophobia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749 You deserved it 563

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UglyLesbo · 21 August 2022, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Whatever it takes

Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 270

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hard lesson · 12 August 2022, 14:00 ·United States

Bigots, bigots everywhere

Today, I had to have a very unfortunate conversation with my young daughter about homophobia and bigotry, after the neighbor said she can’t play with her kids anymore. My daughter mentioned she had two mommies, me and my platonic best fiend who’s her godmother. My poor baby is still inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188 You deserved it 179

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Heart.Broken.Yet.Again · 1 August 2022, 12:00

Unboyfriendable

Today, after years of crushing on numerous straight guys, I now like a really close friend who is also gay. Too bad, he has already elaborated how perfect I am, but definitely not someone he could like or date. Seems I would have to move on yet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 279

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Anonymous · 22 July 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Some of these things aren't related

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203 You deserved it 512

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