Terrence · 12 February 2025, 12:00 ·Manchester, United Kingdom

Whatever could she be talking about?

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 604 You deserved it 177

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Kris · 31 January 2025, 00:00 ·India

Not very neighborly

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 507

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Anonymous · 27 January 2025, 15:00 ·Bainbridge, United States

Water shortage

Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needs to be installed, so there's no water here either. We're now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455 You deserved it 101

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anon · 24 January 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Domino effect

Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 You deserved it 830

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ticketed · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Bronx, United States

Don't pick up

Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 396 You deserved it 37 332

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Anonymous · 18 January 2025, 15:00 ·Yarrambat, Australia

Fight or flight or…

Today, after just returning to work from recovering from an e-scooter crash, a man raced through a red light on his e-scooter while I was crossing the road, and nearly collided with me. If I hadn’t frozen in place, he absolutely would have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376 You deserved it 98

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Good to know · 16 January 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Confused

Today, I found out that, despite the name, it is indeed possible to get swimmer's ear without ever actually going swimming. Am I dumb, or am I right to be confused? I suppose it could be worse, but… how? FML

I agree, your life sucks 309 You deserved it 154

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??? · 4 January 2025, 15:00 ·Buffalo, United States

Scream

Today, I tried to prank my little brother by jumping out from behind a door to scare him. I ended up scaring myself when I caught a glimpse of my weirdly-lit reflection in a mirror mid-jump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 579

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Dying · 30 December 2024, 09:00 ·Richmond, United States

Let me be

Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 28 December 2024, 20:00 ·Romania

Man flu

Today, I'm horribly sick with a stomach bug. My wife insists on yelling for my help every fifteen minutes, saying, "If you want kids, you better get used to this. They don't just go away when you're sick." When she's sick, however, she expects to be treated like a princess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 154

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Anonymous · 22 December 2024, 20:00 ·Hoffman Estates, United States 🌶️ Spicy

My time of need

Today, my boyfriend got annoyed with me for being really needy and clingy lately. I'm doing it because I was sexually assaulted last week, but I'm just not ready to tell him that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624 You deserved it 257

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It does grow on trees · 21 December 2024, 12:00 ·Portland, United States

Looney tunes

Today, I spotted a $20 bill on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, the wind blew it away. I ended up running after it like a cartoon character, only to watch it get stuck up a tree. I did consider climbing up said tree, but with my luck I would've fallen off and had to pay 100 times more in hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 123

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Anonymous · 19 December 2024, 12:00 ·United States

The Grinch

Today, after telling my bosses how much I dislike the Christmas holiday, they assigned ME to organize and host a holiday party for our whole company, with a “Mariah Carey Christmas Karaoke.” I hate Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483 You deserved it 239

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Anonymous · 14 December 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Trust

Today, I found out that my husband read my journal behind my back when he got mad over something I'd written in it. This is the same journal that my therapist told me to keep, to help me get past my trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 10 December 2024, 12:00

Quiet life

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 315

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Haze · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Wellington, New Zealand

I want a dog

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 833 You deserved it 2 326

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Anonymous · 7 December 2024, 16:00 ·Colorado Springs, United States

And yet, here you are! Congratulations!

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 614

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11 months of waiting, and now THIS!? · 5 December 2024, 09:00 ·Imus, Philippines

Touching grass

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 160

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I've got skills · 26 November 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Blockade

Today, since I've been enduring a sore throat, I got Chloraseptic lozenges to finally get a bit of relief. When I put one in my mouth, I nearly choked on it. Imagine that: trying to soothe your throat, and you almost die by accidentally obstructing it instead. The irony almost hurts even more than my throat does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362 You deserved it 161

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Crash · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Beep beep

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 290 You deserved it 62 678

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R…… · 19 November 2024, 09:00 ·Edison, United States

While the cat's away…

Today, I knew my wife and kid wouldn't be home until later, and I was excited to play video games and relax. The second I turned my computer on, the power went out. It came back on as my wife was pulling into the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 18 November 2024, 20:00 ·Winnipeg, Canada

Karma wins again

Today, as I was sitting at a bus stop, I spilled Pepsi on my shirt while texting my friend about how clumsy people are, after seeing someone walk into a trash can. Irony isn’t dead, but my dignity is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 You deserved it 581

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cmzraxsn · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Run run run

Today, I ran to catch the train, but slipped on the stairs and fell on my shoulder. However, my effort was rendered useless; it wasn't even my train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 690 You deserved it 5 435

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anon · 14 November 2024, 20:00 ·Myrtle Beach, United States

Motivation

Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 You deserved it 746

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Not again!!! · 11 November 2024, 03:00 ·Istanbul, Turkey

Sometimes negativity is good

Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378 You deserved it 107

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Puri · 10 November 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Wellness check

Today, I realized I forgot to cancel a free trial for a meditation app. So, ironically, I now owe $40 to an app that’s supposed to reduce stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303 You deserved it 285

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Anonymous · 9 November 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

The blame game

Today, my wife is mad because she forgot our anniversary. Not me, her. She thought it was today and got mad at me for having nothing planned. It’s tomorrow, and I do have stuff planned for us. So she’s mad at me because she got it wrong and felt like an idiot, which is somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626 You deserved it 92

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pgmonster · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·San Francisco, United States

Wreckless Eric

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 226 You deserved it 5 541

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Caught in 4K

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988 You deserved it 3 207

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Anonymous · 15 October 2024, 14:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Turned on… and off

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731 You deserved it 168

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