Today, a girl came into my salon to permanently straighten her really long and curly hair. After several long hours, I went to the counter to charge her. She ran out faster than an Olympic runner. FML
Today, a colleague texted me to say that I needed a haircut. Today was also the first day I attempted to ‘do’ my hair in about 5 years. Clearly, I shouldn’t have bothered. FML
Today, I put my travel cup of coffee on the shelf behind me while getting a haircut. When I left, I picked up my coffee and cell phone. A block later, the barber had chased me down to get his cell phone back. Yep, I had two phones in my pocket. FML
Today, I noticed a lady at work staring at me very intently. When she realized she had my attention, she made a sweeping gesture over her head and said, "Hair is like Trump!" FML
Today, after wasting $60 and 3 hours of my time getting my hair dyed to get rid of the ugly orange tint it had from the last time I got my hair dyed, it turned out to be the exact same color I started with. I go on vacation in 6 days and hate my hair. I'm not looking forward to taking pictures, that’s for sure. FML
Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML
Today, my little brother compared my new haircut to the one Hermione has in the first Harry Potter movie. I assumed this was a compliment, until my sister said, "Hermione's haircut is really cute" and he replied, "Seriously? She looks like shit." FML
Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone had cut off half of my ponytail. FML
Today, my little brother was getting a haircut. He’s very shy and doesn’t like to talk to strangers, hardly ever, but with women it’s more likely that he will. The hairdresser made a comment about, “He’s so quiet, is he nervous?” I said without thinking, ”No, he only talks to pretty girls.” She didn’t speak the rest of the haircut. FML
Today, I decided to get a haircut to change up my look. I asked for a bob, but the hairstylist misunderstood and gave me some sort of bowl cut. I look like a '90s sitcom character. FML
Today, I decided to try a new hairstyle. I ended up with a haircut that makes me look like a cross between a mullet head and a pineapple. My friends are planning on making fun of me for a few weeks, so might as well shave it all off. FML
Today, my little sister used scissors she got from school to cut my hair in the middle of the night while I was asleep. Now it looks like someone went at my hair with a chainsaw, and my school's dress code doesn't allow me to wear a hat or anything else to cover it up. FML
Today, I got a haircut that makes me look like a Lego minifigure. FML
Today, I got a new, short haircut. Now I look like my little brother who died two years ago. FML
Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I'm now banned from that salon. FML
Today, I got a haircut and it was messed up for the fifth time in a row. FML
Today, I was getting my hair dyed in a salon and suddenly 'Never Gonna Give You Up' started playing in the background. Rickrolling isn't common where I live, so I just took some heavy psychic damage while everyone remained blissfully unaware. FML
Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML
Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML
Today, after I spent 3 months growing my beard and hair so I could go for the Viking look, my mom told me I look almost eerily identical to the registered sex offender who lives 2 streets away. Out come the clippers, I’m going full bald. Three months wasted FML
Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML
Today, at work at a beauty salon, I was explaining to a mom and her daughter about how we were going to style their hair, and the processes involved. I tripped over my words, saying, "We’ll start with a wash and a blowjob." Pretty sure from the way they stomped out I might not have a job tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friend's house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to straighten her hair while she did her makeup, even though I’ve never straightened hair before. I burned a length of it off, because I had no idea what I was doing. It’s super obvious from the back, but she’s gone out already. I’m a dead man when she gets home. FML
Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend dumped her after a huge fight they had, regarding him getting a haircut without talking to her first. I asked if she also needed to consult with him first before getting a haircut. Without a hint of self-awareness, she said, "Of course not. That's stupid. Why would I need his permission?" FML
Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML
Today, after years of being too self-conscious to do anything big with my appearance, I finally got an undercut. My best friend went on a rant about how I "ruined" how I look and now she can't be seen with me, because we "look mismatched together." Looks like I'm back to being self-conscious. FML
Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser, "A little off the sides," they hear, "A bowl cut please, and make it look extra stupid." FML
Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was, until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year-old brother. FML
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