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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Birds

    Sky the killer

    By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

    Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 105
    You deserved it 8 056
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    New creepypasta just dropped

    By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

    Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 89 542
    You deserved it 4 388
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    Keywords

    Money Technology Work Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds Embarrassing Relatable Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family Love Cops Abuse Kids NSFW Sex Intimacy Mental health Ironic Haircut
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I dropped my daughter off at a concert where she was performing and went to look for parking. I got caught in freak traffic and it took me an hour to get back there. I missed her act. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 777
    You deserved it 1 540
    Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 41 085
    You deserved it 7 568
    Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48 279
    You deserved it 8 038
    Today, as I was trying to have some “self pleasure” time, my cat, WHO NEVER CUDDLES WITH ME, decides to come up and sit on my thigh. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 909
    You deserved it 421
    Today, it’s mine and my fiancée’s two year anniversary. No, not our engagement or dating anniversary, it’s the two year anniversary of when we last had sex. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 111
    You deserved it 373
    Today, after my therapist told me I should open up to my friends more, I sent a message to a pen-pal and told her that I had asked for and found help with my postpartum troubles. She replied that I'm a bad friend for "always burdening her with my problems." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 433
    You deserved it 103
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