Anonymous · 9 March 2025, 20:00 ·Canada

I'm done

Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 457 You deserved it 94

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Business Mom · 9 March 2025, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States

Good timing

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my boss and a client, discussing a new project. My toddler burst into the room and screamed, “Mommy, I shitted in the bathtub!” The camera was on, and I just froze, while my boss tried to hold in his laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · 8 March 2025, 03:00 ·Portland, United States

Dinner date

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Halfway through dinner, I noticed my mascara was smudging, so I tried to discreetly wipe it off with my napkin. As I looked up, my date was staring at me with wide eyes. Apparently, I had smeared it all over my face and I looked like a raccoon. He didn’t even offer to help me fix it, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 225

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anonymous dude · 7 March 2025, 15:00 ·Australia

Social cues

Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 You deserved it 437

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louise · 6 March 2025, 03:00 ·Australia

Quality fabric

Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 409

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Anonymous · 5 March 2025, 15:00 ·Cincinnati, United States

Middle ground

Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536 You deserved it 123

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No money, honey! · 5 March 2025, 09:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Caring is sharing

Today, I got a call from the lawyer of my recently deceased neighbor, whom I once cared for. He apparently left me and his second daughter, whom he knows I had a huge crush on when we were kids, a vast amount, but we will only get it after we get married. He had severe dementia, and she's already been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 5 March 2025, 03:00 ·Minneapolis, United States

Sounds more like a "you" problem

Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 625

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Leighton on C · 3 March 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Miscommunication

Today, I was texting my crush and I wanted to send him a cute emoji to show I was thinking of him. Instead of sending the "heart eyes" emoji, I hit the "poop" emoji. The worst part? He responded with, "Yeah, I'm a piece of shit, thanks for reminding me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 166 You deserved it 398

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Nadia · 3 March 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Which way now?

Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 132

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SuperBunny · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

And I oop

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 026 You deserved it 62 612

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Old dog, new tricks

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 033 You deserved it 47 450

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Anonymous · 1 March 2025, 20:00 ·United States

The opposite of Stars Hollow

Today, I recently moved to a new place. People around me here have been ignoring me from day one. It feels awkward and embarrassing to not get response when i talk to them. I'm an extrovert but still I can't cope up with this behavior. It's like they are observing my moves, and it's kind of creepy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 1 March 2025, 09:00 ·Dublin, Ireland

Close knit

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 298

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Jennifer · 28 February 2025, 20:00 ·Australia

Breakout

Today, I had a job interview. The night before, I'd noticed a small pimple forming on my chin and did everything I could to make it go away. During the interview, I couldn’t focus on anything except the giant pimple that had sprouted on my forehead. I spent the entire time trying to keep my fringe in front of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312 You deserved it 137

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Vicky · 27 February 2025, 22:00 ·Carson City, United States

Welcome!

Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 92

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Bengt · 27 February 2025, 15:00 ·Lidingoe, Sweden

Are you sure she wasn't messing with you?

Today, I was chatting with an American woman I met on a dating app. All was going well until she told me the names of her two kids. She had seriously named them "Trump" and "Maga." FML

I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 142

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Anonymous · 27 February 2025, 03:00 ·Canada

It's not what you think!

Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Gloucester, United Kingdom

Tough crowd

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 511 You deserved it 30 716

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Glen · 26 February 2025, 00:00 ·Ooty, India 🌶️ Spicy

Mixed emotions

Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424 You deserved it 167

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taman · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Stinker

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 454 You deserved it 5 483

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Anonymous · 25 February 2025, 03:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Double whammy

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423 You deserved it 109

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Dating is trash · 24 February 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Must read

Today, I saw the guy I haven’t heard from in a couple of days posting on Instagram. I texted him, “So you can post on social media but can’t text me back?” He replied with a link to a book on Amazon titled “He’s Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call” and said: “Read this and get the hint.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 You deserved it 724

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OliviaOlive · 24 February 2025, 15:00 ·Boston, United States

Living the meme

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 92

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Rerere · 24 February 2025, 03:00 ·Australia

"Your text here"

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 607

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Behave!

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375 You deserved it 281

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That was twelve years ago · 23 February 2025, 09:00 ·Edison, United States

Long time coming

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522 You deserved it 299

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thatguy · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Feeling faint

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 589 You deserved it 9 333

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Anonymous · 21 February 2025, 00:00 ·Geelong, Australia

Never get involved

Today, because I told her ex that they were an abusive cheater after my friend cried to me about how their ex was treating them horribly for the sixth time this month, my friend blocked me. The ex told her I'd be the reason they'll stay together, and my friend begged me to talk to the ex. I refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 You deserved it 105

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Lauren · 19 February 2025, 20:00 ·Miami, United States

Lost and found

Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 You deserved it 448

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