Anonymous · 18 November 2022, 04:00

You know who you are

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 370

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Anonymous · 16 November 2022, 14:00

You must obey

Today, my company decided to give me a second role, since I’m "the best performing candidate.” When I turned it down, they asked me to work half-time instead. I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924 You deserved it 141

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Cynic · 15 November 2022, 14:00 ·United States

Why so serious?

Today, I've come to accept that no matter how black-and-white an issue is, someone will always side with the obviously wrong point of view and take themselves 100% seriously while doing it. I don't want to live on this planet anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673 You deserved it 443

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Canada

I don't belong here

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 994 You deserved it 8 904

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SEND HELP · 13 November 2022, 06:00 ·United States

How bad can it be?

Today, I've realized that I, an introvert who prefers to be in the comfort of my own home, now prefer to stay out of the house as much as possible, because the obnoxious behavioral issues of my disobedient pets are making my life miserable. Is this how you become a workaholic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 252 You deserved it 1 072

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Anonymous · 12 November 2022, 00:00 ·Cecil, United States

Time for tinnitus

Today, my roommate shouted his entire part of the conversation at the dinner table. He refuses to get his hearing checked, nor lower his voice, so now my ears hurt for the rest of the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 11 November 2022, 00:00 ·France

Package deal

Today, my spoiled step-daughter had extra chores to do for breaking the rules. She called my wife at work, complained about the chores, then my wife called me and said that she didn't want to deal with the drama. It ended with, "Make her do something else!" WTF! She chooses her own punishment! I hate this kid, seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034 You deserved it 262

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Anonymous · 6 November 2022, 22:00 ·Germany

Touch me I'm sick

Today, I went to the doctor with some serious physical symptoms that amount to being effectively disabled. She didn’t even ask any questions or examine me before telling me it was all purely psychological. I barely managed to convince her to at least order some blood tests, as a formality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 6 November 2022, 00:00

Let me sleep!

Today, I'm freshly unemployed and so exhausted from my former job that I can actually really use the rest. Too bad that, for reasons ranging from cat noises to period emergencies, I have woken up at 6 a.m. for 4 days in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 5 November 2022, 04:00 ·Huai Khwang, Thailand

Let me go home, for a start

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 348 You deserved it 126

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CrippledFatty · 1 November 2022, 06:00 ·Bedford, United States

Casual ableism

Today, I was yet again chastised for using a wheelchair, since, "Obesity isn't a disability." I'm 46 with lipedema, and lost my ability to walk 13 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947 You deserved it 171

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Anonymous · 1 November 2022, 02:00 ·Wisconsin Dells, United States

Nice vacation

Today, my obnoxious bully of an aunt forced me to walk a mile to the store in the rain to buy her a lottery ticket. When I got back, she thanked me by scream-singing “When Somebody Loves You” in the most ear-rapingly atrocious caterwaul imaginable. We’re staying with her for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 31 October 2022, 18:00 ·Huai Khwang, Thailand

Passing the buck

Today my boss gathered us to discuss about empowerment, accountability and Objectives and Key Results. My colleague set her OKRs as, “to empower others to do my work for me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 756 You deserved it 133

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Anonymous · 31 October 2022, 14:00 ·Germany

Snail mail

Today, I finished the cumbersome process to sign up and log in to my health insurance’s online office so I could reach them by email. As a reply, I got an email telling me I have a message on the website, which - after having logged in - informed me that they have replied to my inquiry. By letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876 You deserved it 104

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Frustrated Student · 30 October 2022, 10:00 ·United States

The topic at hand

Today, I got stuck in a group project with three other people who spent the whole period trying to figure out how old the teacher was. Good news: They came to the conclusion that he must be around 35-40 years old. Bad news: we are gonna have a hard time finishing this project if they don't pull their weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844 You deserved it 106

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IHateFakePpl · 29 October 2022, 12:00

Personal preference or Fatphobia? You decide!

Today, I learned that losing 110 lbs causes people to start kissing your ass. The same people who told me to go fuck myself and didn’t give me the time of day before are now worshipping the ground I walk on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840 You deserved it 311

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Warsaw, United States

We met a lot later!

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 397 You deserved it 53 077

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Anonymous · 27 October 2022, 16:00

Hole in the head

Today, I had to get a nail removed from my head after a nail gun incident. The nail was actually touching my brain but didn’t cause damage. Of course being a builder with typical builder mates, the joke now is that I’m so brainless even getting shot in the head doesn’t make a difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 22 October 2022, 02:00 🌶️ Spicy

Isn't there someone you forgot to ask?

Today, I've come to the realization that my girlfriend's mini Australian Shepherd dictates everything, from a hug and kiss goodbye, to when we try to have sex. The worst part is she won't do anything about it. Looks like another night with the damn dog between us… FML

I agree, your life sucks 886 You deserved it 298

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i wonder why · 21 October 2022, 16:00 ·Federal Way, United States

You are what you eat

Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 936 You deserved it 555

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There are 2 cheaters among us · 20 October 2022, 18:00 ·United States

Kinda sus, Amogus

Today, I tried to play Among Us because the memes have finally died down. I ended up in a server with two guys who were unapologetically using Discord to rat out their killers. They tried to argue that it's not cheating. They were 100% serious, and in fact they kicked everyone out when we asked them to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818 You deserved it 222

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jessie star · 17 October 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Judge Judy and executioner

Today, I'm pregnant. So far, I have been criticized about 20 times for “making poor choices.” Not only did we use a condom, I’m also on the pill, and have an IUD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155 You deserved it 209

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Anonymous · 16 October 2022, 00:00

Irritable

Today, as I have lately, I’ve been feeling like my boss finds any excuse to be upset with me and tell me how I’m doing wrong, when most times it’s just so stupid there’s really no point in it. For reference, I work in long term care. I messaged her and she got upset with me because she saw my name pop up and overreacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637 You deserved it 99

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nobabies · 14 October 2022, 06:00

I've had even enough

Today, I started my period. Unfortunately, my last period only ended six days ago. PCOS sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 9 October 2022, 05:00

Evil and cunning

Today, I lost my job due to anonymous customer complaints. Turns out it was my toxic mother-in-law. She made those complaints because she thinks if I’m unemployed, it will be easier to convince my husband to divorce me. Luckily he knows she’s toxic and is on my side, but I’m still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729 You deserved it 108

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Not what it looks like · 7 October 2022, 23:00 ·United States

Mind your own business

Today, I had to explain to a lady at Walmart that my mom, who is rather big-boned, actually suffers from fibromyalgia and arthritis, which is why she has to use motor carts. She didn't believe us, and called my mom "selfish". This is a common occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242 You deserved it 229

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847 · 5 October 2022, 22:30 ·United States

Whining at life

Today, to get my wife off my back, I introduced our two single friends who are both into QAnon. Not only did they not click, but now they both call us regularly to embellish the insane difference between their beliefs and "what that moron believes." Same words from both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130 You deserved it 592

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Anonymous · 20 September 2022, 00:01

Never enough

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358 You deserved it 169

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Godhelpme · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Houston, United States

Out of the frying pan…

Today, in a last-ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 140 You deserved it 4 785

47 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

How did it come to this?

Today, I had to say, "Put away your burrito," "That ruler is not a lightsaber," and, "Stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 731 You deserved it 5 378

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