Nearly FMLs

By carlys_a_singer5 - 14/01/2016 03:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, My beloved boyfriend took me to an old abandoned house. Thinking he was gonna be sweet and try to get me scared to comfort me, I gladly went in. He locked me in a dark room and ran away. I'm terrified of the dark and being alone. Not to mention my major anxiety issues. FML

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You deserved it 0

By JustSomeGuy01 - 14/01/2016 03:43 - United States - Brockton

Today, I tried explaining to my girlfriend's parents what being transgender is like. Her mother started crying and hugging me nonstop. FML

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You deserved it 0

By damn - 14/01/2016 03:41 - Canada - Simcoe

A few days ago, I had to tell my fwb that I'm pregnant with his baby (condom broke)..... He was also just told that he already has another girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By LifeSucks2016 - 14/01/2016 03:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, five years ago from this time, I won the mega millions. After bouncing off the walls excited my mom said since she paid for the ticket she's going to claim it, she saved it in the bank for "me" and haven't gave me a dime out of it since. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 03:37 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was basically kicked out of my group of friends for being better at a video game then the rest of them. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 14/01/2016 03:36 - United States - Loveland

Today, my brother shit-whipped me in the throat because I hugged him "without consent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By hate 2 skate - 14/01/2016 03:32 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, some asshole kids thought it would be funny to make a line of rocks on the sidewalk I was skateboarding on. I fell off, fracturing my pinky, chipping a bit off of one of my teeth, and I damaged my board. FML

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You deserved it 0

By hate 2 skate - 14/01/2016 03:32 - United States - Scottsdale

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You deserved it 0

By leahann - 14/01/2016 03:30 - United States - Dandridge

Today, after a long day, I popped a TV dinner in the microwave only to drop it on the floor when it's ready. This is a prefect representation of how today went. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Too late - 14/01/2016 03:24 - Australia - Carlingford

Today, I joined Snapchat to look at the account of someone I'm interested in. They had posted a photo of their journal, I couldn't quite read it, so I took a screenshot. I had completely forgotten the whole purpose of Snapchat. I quickly deleted my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By not a hooligan - 14/01/2016 03:21 - United States - King George

Today, my friend accidentally said "sodomise" instead of "cauterize". Thinking it was funny, I repeated the story to a bunch of people, including my teachers. Turns out all the weird looks I got were because "sodomise" isn't a made up word like I thought, but apparently means "anal sex". FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 03:06 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, I'm stuck behind at work. Not from extra work, or a mean boss. I'm stuck on the toilet with a massive crap that is emerging a millimeter a minute. With cheap toilet paper that disintergrates if I look at it wrong. I just want to go home. FML.

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By Sarah - 14/01/2016 03:00 - United States - Morgantown

Today, my boyfriend was inebriated and wanted to get intimate. While he was going down on me he started to giggle and when I asked him why his response was, "genitals are so ugly." He completely ruined the mood he was attempting to set. FML

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You deserved it 0

By cjacobs91 - 14/01/2016 02:52 - United States - Mauldin

Today, I decided to take a relaxing bath. I am eight and a half months pregnant. I'm currently stuck in the tub, unable to get out and my boyfriend is in our bedroom... Watching Netflix and not answering my messages. fml.

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You deserved it 0

By frozenmoron - 14/01/2016 02:49 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I spent over an hour in below zero temperature weaving my way through the local mall's huge parking lots looking for my car. After finally remembering I had taken the bus instead of driving, I saw the last one of the evening pull out from the stop and drive away. FML

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You deserved it 0

By my wedding....not yours - 14/01/2016 02:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after listening to me freak out for ten minutes about how my fiancé and I have created a guest list too large for our venue and saying we have to cut some people, my mom yelled at me for suggesting we cut her friends that I don't know but instead suggested we cut some of his family...FML

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You deserved it 1

By Just Me - 14/01/2016 02:25 - United States - Philadelphia

Today in Algebra, we had a quiz. I turned my head to the side to stretch, pulled a muscle, and said a few words under my breath. My teacher thought that I was cheating, and now I'm under academic probation, and this situation where I supposedly "cheated", will forever be on my school record. FML

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You deserved it 0

By donaldthegrump - 14/01/2016 02:19 - United States - Hendersonville

Today, I had finals taken over multiples two hour periods. During one of the two hour testing periods, I realised I have violent diarrhoea. And I wasn't allowed to leave the room. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By LifeSucks2016 - 14/01/2016 02:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked 5 blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

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You deserved it 0

By anony - 14/01/2016 01:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend attempted to bleach streaks in my hair, seeing that she recently done it & looks awesome. She neglected to tell me she did hers at the salon. I look like a zebra, jet back hair with white stripes. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 01:53 - United States - Chicago

So today, I was given a 10 day suspension by the principal after he saw me allegedly selling drugs. I was selling beef sticks. FML

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By Clean boots - 14/01/2016 01:52 - United States - Chandler

Today, at school, I was sitting in front of somebody I didn't know. I glanced back and saw her nudge my backpack with her foot, like she was trying to move it. What she actually had done was wipe the mud off of her boot onto my backpack. FML

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By somefuckeduppeopleoutthere - 14/01/2016 01:46 - Canada - Laval

Today, my sister's boyfriend told me that I was ugly and that my sister was gorgeous. My sister and I are identical twins. She agrees with him. FML

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You deserved it 0

By wellthisisawkward - 14/01/2016 01:46 - United States - Beaumont

Today, as I'm typing this, I can hear my sister having sex through the paper thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By mistake - 14/01/2016 01:33 - United States - Lowell

Today, I recently got a tattoo of my girlfriends name on my arm to prove to her how much I care bc she's seemed distant lately, so today we hungout turns out she met someone else and broke up with me. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 01:29 - United States - Appleton

Today,I found out that the guy I've been secretly dating is my long lost brother.FML

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By vladimir26 - 14/01/2016 01:28 - United States

Today, I finally decided to give my boyfriend a hand-job. As he unzipped his pants and showed me his penis all I could think to say was, "It's cute." FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 01:24 - United States

Today I went on what I thought was a date with this guy I like, only to end the night by him telling me how much he loves being my friend and picking his girlfriend up from work. Fml

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By Anonymous - 14/01/2016 01:24 - Canada - Corner Brook

Today, I walked in on my ex and my sister "making love" what I didn't know is that they've been sneaking around for 10 years, we've broken up 5 years ago. FML.

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By TheLonelyBagle - 14/01/2016 01:21

Today, my cat kept on crapping on my carpet and I don't know why. When I got back home I found my bottle of heavy laxatives empty. FML

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The Top

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 452

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 257

You deserved it 7 271

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They simply reacted by lecturing me about how much he'll ruin my life, and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 2 692

Today, my twin sons have decided to forego the toilet, and instead poop in random places around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 762

You deserved it 443

Today, I got my period and went clubbing. I had to change my tampon and stupidly I only brought one. When I unwrapped it, it fell on the floor. I had to wait in the womens' bathroom for 45 minutes for a random girl to give me a spare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 820

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 955

You deserved it 7 636