Nearly FMLs

By nat - 08/02/2016 12:12 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, my fiancé and I decided to celebrate Valentine's Day since we'll both be stuck working on the 14th. He then invited his brother to tag along. I ended up being the 3rd wheel while they talked about video games. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By MisterChaos - 08/02/2016 12:07 - Germany - Bretten

Today, i flirted with a girl the whole night long. After the Night she gave me her number. i called it an all that i heard was a computer voice saying: You looser, nobody loves you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Zacholicious - 08/02/2016 11:59 - United States - Elkhart

Today, my mother called me informing me that my wife wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Tejanoswhy - 08/02/2016 11:50 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my German teacher refused to sign my scheduling card for German 3 because he doesn't like me and wants me in none of his classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By no login - 08/02/2016 11:41 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my coworker gasped and asked how I did my makeup. I didn't I just haven't slept. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By jess_locky - 08/02/2016 11:30 - Ireland

Today, I woke up at 7am to discover that we didn't have any running water or electricity due to the storm last night. We did have one thing however,a dead rat outside the back door of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 11:23 - Israel - Rehovot

Today, I saved a little kid's life by shoving him out of the way of a speeding van. While he was alright and got out with scratches, I am about to undergo a surgery that would decide if I ever walk again. Also, the boy's family wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By minimanion - 08/02/2016 10:57 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had a dream where I finally lost my virginity. To my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By hdamon32 - 08/02/2016 10:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she cheated on me with another girl. who just so happens to be the same girl i cheated on her with 3 months ago, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By speyer231 - 08/02/2016 10:42 - United States

Today, I learned that when you're having a bad day, tempting life with silly questions like "how can this get any worse?" grants you a flat tire on the freeway. Looks like cliches exist for a reason... FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By notevenajedi - 08/02/2016 10:42 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out I'm related to my online girlfriend, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 10:35 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I tried to talk to my stepdad whom practically raised me, but he refuses to talk to me unless it's about my little sister moving in with me. I basically try to get fatherly love by almost agreeing that my little sister move in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By InsipidPotatoes - 08/02/2016 10:09 - Israel - Holon

Today, in math class, I asked my friend for help with exercise "D" by saying "Matt, can I see your D?". My maths teacher doesn't believe my mistake and has called my parents, who also don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 09:47 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I was reading FMLs to my boyfriend while we were hanging out. I started laughing hard at a really good one, so I held up the phone for him to see. I guess I accidentally clicked one of the ad links, since I ended up showing him a gif of some girl furiously masturbating instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By autumnbanshee - 08/02/2016 09:25 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my Muslim husband is convinced my psychological disorders are just actually demons inside me because he showed me a video of someone speaking Quran and my arms started itching. My exorcism will be next month in Jordan. I'm atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Daddy, No! - 08/02/2016 09:04 - United States - Dickson

Today, my husband admitted that the reason he likes me to shave all my pubes is because the only way he can get hard is to pretend to be raping his imaginary 12 year old daughter. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By cemakara3 - 08/02/2016 08:46 - Denmark - Taastrup

Today, after waiting 1 year for my girlfriend to get home from her education in the US. She broke up with me for watching porn while she was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By BlueSteele220 - 08/02/2016 08:44 - United States - Fontana

Today, my landlord called me because my husband forgot to sign the rent check. Again. Now we have to pay a late fee. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By autumnbanshee - 08/02/2016 08:40 - United States - Little Rock

Today, by a unanimous vote from my entire family, it'd decided my grandfather's quick altzheimers onset that has him on his death bed is my fault. Just like the time they decided my father's suicide was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By WittyMoron - 08/02/2016 08:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife gave birth to our second child. Her parents walked into the room, lifted the baby from my wife's arms and screamed when they saw her face. Me and my wife had just agreed that the baby looked like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By why heat - 08/02/2016 08:26 - Australia - Bickley

Today, I had to walk home from school in 45 degree heat (Celsius) to come home to my family, who all took the day off work, sitting in the air conditioning. Thanks for caring guys. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By anon - 08/02/2016 07:51

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He fell asleep while I was sucking his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TooSoonMan - 08/02/2016 07:42 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I found out that the guy I've been talking to on the internet for a week and a half has bought me a plane ticket so I can fly out and meet his family. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Puff301 - 08/02/2016 07:19 - Australia - Homebush

Today, I was at basketball practice, where there was a group of 5-6 yr olds next to us playing soccer. One of the boys ran up to us, and did a moonie, shirtless in our faces. Not a quick flash, but he pulled his pants down and waggled his butt in my face.His mum was watching and cheering him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 08/02/2016 07:00 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I found a camera in my bathroom. I don't have a boyfriend and I live only with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By TreeHD - 08/02/2016 06:57 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I sent a "Good Morning" text to my girl friend before she woke up, just to try and be romantic... Turns out I was so tired i sent a Poop emoji instead of a Heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By laurenpaige - 08/02/2016 06:48 - United States - Boise

Today, I realized how bad my iPhone addiction is when the alert to have it updated popped up, and I had a panic attack thinking about how long I wouldn't be able to use it while it updated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By harrypotterfan22 - 08/02/2016 06:47 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I learned that not only do I have a kidney infection, I'm also allergic to morphine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By ForeverScrewedUp - 08/02/2016 06:41 - United States - Brookings

Today, my best friend told me that she never wants to hear from me and blocked my number, because I contacted 911 when she was trying to commit suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By birthday dude - 08/02/2016 06:37 - United States - Covina

Today, is my birthday. The only thing I got was a text from my girlfriend dumping me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 782

You deserved it 1 958

Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 545

You deserved it 5 684

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 852

You deserved it 73 337

Today, my wife told me to stop talking about my depression, in case the neighbours hear and think she’s a bad wife for not being able to keep me happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 135

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 3 471

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 788

You deserved it 3 827