Nearly FMLs

By VampOfSavannah - 16/02/2016 19:17 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I've been so painfully constipated that I'm actually jealous of my cats' regular bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 19:15

Today, after waiting 3 weeks and asking my teacher 3 times, he never put in the grade for my essay, which could've saved me from an F. Now I have to wake up at 4:30 A.M everyday to go to support class to get help on a grade that is almost impossible to jump back from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By grandma? - 16/02/2016 18:32 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my daughter and her boyfriend are trying for a baby this wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't 13, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By IFearMyDoctor - 16/02/2016 18:15 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I asked my doctor to refer me to a sexologist. I told her that I've been to a sexologist before. She told me that there are no records of the appointments or of the doctor. Apperantly, I've been visiting a pervert personating a sexologist. For 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 18:08 - United States - Fremont

Today, I ran over my boss's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Gerd - 16/02/2016 18:00 - United States

Today, in class we were working on the computers to finish our projects. Everyone else finished as always and I was last. However, before I was done the power in the school went out. Apparently, someone hit a transformer. All that work just gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 17:55 - Germany - Frankfurt Am Main

Today, it's my daughter's 1st birthday. My mother is on vacation, my sister didn't come because she "doesn't have time to buy a present anyway" and my uncle "already has two other birthdays to attend this month". They don't see why I'm pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By YoungandWild - 16/02/2016 17:42 - United States - Newburgh

Last night my friend and I decided to go sledding because it was snowing for the first time. We picked the biggest hill to go down. He wanted to video tape our wild ride. There was a dip at the end of the hill. We lost my glasses and his phone. It took us an hour in the dark to find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By georgia_888 - 16/02/2016 17:32 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my mom called me to tell me she's losing friends because they don't agree with her decisions. Her decision was to kick her daughter out at 18. I'm her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Losefirst - 16/02/2016 17:21 - United States - Katy

I sent my girlfriend flowers for valentines day. When they arrived, they were dead. She took this as a sign that we should end our relationship.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 17:07 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 17:04

Today my mother told me that I will no longer be able to go to my boyfriends unless his mother apologizes for cussing her out. They both refuse to apologize and me and my boyfriend can't see each other. This has been going on for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 17:03 - United States - Lansdowne

Today, I showed my Japanese friend my new tattoo. I told him it was the Japanese symbol for love and beauty. He told me it actually means whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 16/02/2016 17:01 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, a few days after it was revealed to my family that I was sexually violated by my brother in law, my father walked into my room, gave me a copy of Chicken Soup for the Troubled Soul, and said "this should help you" and walked away. Thanks dad. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By grandma...too soon? - 16/02/2016 16:33 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my daughter and her boyfriend are trying for a baby this wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't 13 and him 14, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By foreverapuss - 16/02/2016 16:28 - United States - League City

Today, my friend took me to a club to teach me how to pick up chicks. He just got wasted before teaching me anything, called me a "whiny puss" then left a few minutes later with some skank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 370

You deserved it 2 548

By Mitch_Venner - 16/02/2016 16:02 - United States - Silver Spring

Today my friends and a few co workers went on our anual campout trip that I've been looking forward to for months. we all split off into different cars and when we got to the site and unpacked the cars my clinger stalker of an ex jumped out of the car and said "SUPRISE".. they let her stay FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 16:01 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I borrowed my boss's car as mine is in the shop. The fourth shop we've taken it to as nobody can figure out the problem. While driving the borrowed car, I got a flat tire. She thinks it's my fault and is pretty pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 15:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I am sick with the flu and an earache. I also started my period this morning. After forcing myself to drive to my first class, I was stuck in traffic for 45 mins. Finally getting to campus, I was suddenly hit with a bout of diarrhea. I am in pain from EVERY HOLE IN MY BODY. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By JMichael - 16/02/2016 15:42 - United States - Hays

Today, after paying $200 to have my car fixed I turned the car on only to find that my airbag light was now on. I bought the car two months ago off a dealership lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 16/02/2016 15:30 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had the hottest sex dream of my life with miley Cyrus, it was so intense I had a wet dream for the first time in 20 years while sleeping next to my wife who heard me moaning mileys name. I'm so ashamed I want to curl up and die FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 15:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today while I was walking my dog some asshole kid just ran up and kicked him in the face because of a dare from his friends. He has broken his neck and had to be put down today and the kids didn't get arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By IamHM - 16/02/2016 15:09 - United States - Albuquerque

Today I have the flu. I am also at work, and my boss will not let me leave despite my 104-degree fever because it's our busy season. I guess the only way I'm leaving is in an ambulance because I'm sure I'll pass out before the day is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Bad Teacher - 16/02/2016 14:16 - United States - Manassas

Today during English club, I wanted to give the kids a chocolate to celebrate Valentine's Day. 2 minutes later a student ran out of the room. Seems she's allergic to nuts. Tomorrow I get to tell the principal. And by me telling I mean my coworker, as I live in Japan and don't speak Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TheBlueJacker - 16/02/2016 14:11 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, After a week of waking up at 5, I had my first chance at sleeping in. I was very happy until 5 this morning I feel my head get whacked by a pillow by my brother telling me to stop snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CalixQyu - 16/02/2016 14:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received a slip to see my Assistant Principle. Apparently they have me on video leaving school grounds. After viewing the video I see my brother and his friends leaving around the time they said I left. They don't believe it was me and my brother denies everything. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ihatethestomachflu - 16/02/2016 14:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while in the supermarket, I was at the back of the store when I got the sudden urge to throw up. I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. I threw up three times before making it to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By marinesista - 16/02/2016 13:44 - United States - New Braunfels

Today, my family and I finally went to see the star wars movie after eating for my marine bother to return. 15 minutes into the movie I started violently vomiting. I asked my mom to take me home but she refused because "for 8 dollars a ticket I better watch that damn movie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By By_The_9 - 16/02/2016 13:10 - United States - Rhinelander

Today, after much hard work and time away from home for my job, I finally have a few days off to relax. Too bad I have to spend that time sick with the stomach flu. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 12:54 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today it is cheaper and quicker for me to get my prescription medication from a drug dealer than a Dr FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 402

You deserved it 2 532

Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 148

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 114

Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 250

Today, after I moved across country to move in with my best friend, she decided to move in with her boyfriend a month into me being here. I don't know anyone here. She hasn't been home in 4 months and recently any time we've made plans, she stands me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out why my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a full-time job, despite us needing the money. He's scared that I'll cheat on him with one of my coworkers, to get back at him for doing it a few years ago. I never knew he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 107