Nearly FMLs

By candaz1 - 17/02/2016 14:16 - United States - Denton

Today, I found out my ex husband works at my new job with me. He doesn't know I am engaged and tried to get back with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 17/02/2016 14:13 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, I was facetiming my boyfriend as he masturbated. After a bit, he looked at me and said, "I gotta go watch porn, I can't masturbate to your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OhCrap - 17/02/2016 13:51 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, after considerable effort I finally was appointed to the Board of Directors in my development. I was promptly assigned oversight of the storm drains, trash and sewage committee. Seems no one volunteers for this committee so I get to do it myself. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Spencer_40 - 17/02/2016 13:37 - United States

Today, after having a shower and drying myself off, I felt like I had to fart so I let it go. It was a bad day to have a white towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 17/02/2016 13:23 - United States - Wildomar

Today, I drove to my girlfriends house an hour or so away only to be approached when I rang her door bell by another man asking "Are you here for the three-some?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mitch_Venner - 17/02/2016 13:13 - United States - Germantown

Today, while my girlfriend and I where getting intimate her ex called and she not only picked up the phone to talk to him but motioned for me to keep going FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Cokelove - 17/02/2016 13:09 - Canada - Barrie

Today, after being pop and sugar free for a year, I decided to treat myself to some Coca-Cola. Only to find my find myself puking down the hall in my school FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 13:05 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I dreamt of the girl I love most in the world. Everything was perfect until she decided to leave me. I then woke up and realized she had left me in real life as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 17/02/2016 12:42 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, my husband followed through on his promise that the next time he saw his father would be at his funeral when he pissed on his grave. He didn't even wait for the vicar to finish speaking, he just whipped his dick out in front of god and everybody we know and pissed on the coffin FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Csapo - 17/02/2016 12:21 - Hungary - Sz?kesfeh?rv?r

Today,I found out my wife of 8 years used to be a man, and she boasted about having a bigger penis than me -FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Stephanie - 17/02/2016 12:09 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, what should have been a romantic 2 year anniversary turned into the breakup from hell after the candles I lit burned down my boyfriends flat AND 5 other flats in the same building, AND killed our cat, AND gave 18 people smoke inhalation, AND had me interrogated by police about arson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By addixkay - 17/02/2016 12:07 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I wrote a long paragraph to my boyfriend explaining why I didn't believe our relationship was working. He responded with "okay cool". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By instagone - 17/02/2016 12:03 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my aunt informed me that she will no longer be talking to me because I won't give her 17 year old son a "shoutout on Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By extrasnipes - 17/02/2016 11:53 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, it was snowing so much that by the time I finish shovelling the last half of the driveway the first half was covered in just as much snow as when I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By F me - 17/02/2016 11:07 - Australia - Chippendale

Today, I bought a new car. I also scratched the shit out of the car heading out of a parking space because some asshole decides to park on an angle and on my side of the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fucking mariokart arsehole - 17/02/2016 09:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up at 3 in the morning to my drunk off his tits son crashing his car into my car. He then threw a mushroom at me, shouted, "take that, Bowser" then passed out so quickly he face planted the driveway and got broken glass stuck in his head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 08:29 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, after a year and a half of being single I was about to hook up with a girl. Then my alarm clock rang and I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dearlordplshelp - 17/02/2016 08:29 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I spent three hours straight in the bathroom throwing up. When I was finally well enough to stumble into bed and pass out, my roommate woke me up after five minutes and yelled at me to do my "fucking laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By naty - 17/02/2016 08:21

Today, I got my boyfriends name tattooed since we've been together for six years and he had mine tattooed. I then later on found out he was cheating on me with his ex/girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By wellthatwas4yearsofuniwasted - 17/02/2016 08:19 - United Kingdom

Today, marks the day it's been exactly 6 months since I started my dream job, the job I've been working towards my whole life. Today is also the day my boss decided to tell me it's not right for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Sad Student - 17/02/2016 07:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire school folder from my computer. I have a test tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 17/02/2016 07:37 - United States - Westlake Village

Today, me and my girl friend were hanging out and we started making out and one thing led to the next and it was our first time having sex... Long story short I ended up busting on her and felt accomplished only to turn around and see her mom there... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By thecouchisalive - 17/02/2016 07:28 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I figured out that I've been spending too much time machining aluminum for a project when I found multiple pieces of metal on my scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ihatechicken - 17/02/2016 07:21 - United States - Fairmont

Today, I had a horrible and very stressful day at work on top of sleep deprivation. I was exhausted and planned to go home, masturbate, and sleep for ten hours. On my way out, I broke my finger by shutting it in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By killmenow03 - 17/02/2016 07:19 - United States - Lenoir

Today, on the way to get my car from the shop I crashed my grandparents truck. To top it off, the police officer on the scene gave me a ticket because the tow truck took to long to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 07:14 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I went to take my 6 month old cat named Princess to be spayed, only to find out that Princess is a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By coughupthechildsupport - 17/02/2016 07:07 - United States - Nampa

Today, I was slapped in the face with two new tidbits of information, one being that my boyfriend of six years is actually married and has kids in another state, visiting them during "business trips." The second is that I am pregnant by him with twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By helpme69 - 17/02/2016 06:38 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I accidentally pulled out one of my beard hairs and realized it looks exactly like a pube. Now I can't stop thinking about how my beard, which I was so proud of, makes me look like my chin is covered in pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Iittcceell - 17/02/2016 06:36

Today, I finally received my valentines gift from my boyfriend of two years. He came home with a huge, proud grin on his face and handed me a HUGE teddy bear. I have a phobia of bears, and dolls, and anything that even remotely resembles chucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By send3426 - 17/02/2016 06:29 - United States - Apopka

Today, I found out that everyone I consider to by my friend at work, actually talks about me behind my back. What's worse, when I attempt to talk to my best friend about it, she tells me she wants to be left alone and doesn't want friends anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after my wife said I could decide what to do with our spare room, I decided to make a home gym. She hasn't stopped ranting about "patriarchal diet culture" and "unrealistic body expectations" since. I just wanted to get fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 133

Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 344

Today, I'm anxious traveler who's flying by myself. My first flight got delayed due to one issue after another. This caused me to miss my connection. There are no more flights today so I'm having to stay overnight which, by the way, the airline won't pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 68

Today, I got broken up with, after renovating her family's apartment over the last 9 months. She even waited until I'd hung the last lights, whose shipment was delayed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 98

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 328

You deserved it 6 493

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 913

You deserved it 3 187