Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

andonceagain

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

andonceagain

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1048
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

andonceagain's page activity

Visits<b>KaiAdrian</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:45pm<b>melons</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>idancewithllamas</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:54pm<b>FistBlaster9000</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:45am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:17am<b>legendxzelda</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:05pm<b>Alaskalex</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 6:34pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 5:17pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:49pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 8:22pm

andonceagain's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of andonceagain's badges

andonceagain's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41773) - you deserved it (7353)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (58837)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (3022)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

#8042799
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/09/2010 at 3:19am - kids - by matchristityler (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29895) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27565) - you deserved it (5791)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (3522)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63345) - you deserved it (3153)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7949) - you deserved it (68028)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (38461)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (6953)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (11077)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (74983)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: