Work: Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the... - FML

By HiddlePuff - 14/05/2015 12:42 - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 143

You deserved it 8 096

Stop talking!

There's no helping some people

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Quick reflexes

By fml9124 - 20/03/2020 18:00

Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 669

Dweebs

By XxtentaculonxX - 08/12/2012 22:52 - United Kingdom - Oban

Spicy

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 773

You deserved it 32 379

By Jololol - 17/05/2013 09:25 - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 128

You deserved it 3 316

By embarrassed - 18/11/2010 02:31

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 721

You deserved it 3 417

It's complicated

By illusia - 05/04/2021 16:58

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 128

By missblue97 - 23/12/2016 08:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad asked my step-mom if he could get some booty before bed because he still had energy. He didn't realize I was still in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 557

You deserved it 911

By toametru1 - 09/11/2016 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I mockingly made "President Trump" jokes all day to my friends, knowing Clinton was bound to win the election. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 114

You deserved it 8 917

By LemonTree - 20/11/2014 11:32 - Hungary

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 034

You deserved it 6 907

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 23:07 - United States - Auberry

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 13 212

By me - 14/01/2012 01:38 - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 144

You deserved it 56 937

By petty petty petty - 08/09/2017 16:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for fighting with my younger brother. Not because she wanted us to stop, but because my brother couldn't find a good comeback to my argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 392

You deserved it 248

Caring

By Anonymous - 18/03/2020 08:09

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 98

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 820

You deserved it 2 517

By Byron fiddles - 24/02/2009 11:57 - Hungary

Spicy

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 989

You deserved it 56 533

By Anonymous - 14/06/2019 00:01

Today, I gave my name for a lunch order, I even spelled it out for the cashier. When my food was ready, they screamed "Labia," in the restaurant full of people. My name is Nadia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 137

By anonymous - 01/04/2012 18:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 480

You deserved it 10 302

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 4 214

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 399

You deserved it 85 100

We live in a society

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 06:01

Today, I can't any peace and quiet in any room of my flat. The neighbours on one side are arguing, the other side are having very loud sex, the ones upstairs I suspect are playing some sort of games console, and downstairs daughter has been practising her violin badly all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 82

By queenbee - 14/06/2015 13:31 - United States - Media

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 083

You deserved it 2 480

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 5 632

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 060

You deserved it 3 461

By teinage - 02/05/2011 18:47 - Belgium

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 712

You deserved it 3 094

By WTF - 07/03/2011 09:19

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 025

You deserved it 3 054

Poultry

By sparkynobe - 30/12/2016 08:24 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a co-worker asked me what meat we use for the drumsticks. We work in a chicken factory. This co-worker also thought that spreading out the chicken wings more evenly in the tray would increase the overall weight of the product. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 901

You deserved it 250

By catattack78 - 21/10/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 3 989

By omglifee - 20/12/2009 04:13 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 794

You deserved it 4 091

By ugh thanks - 17/08/2014 16:40 - United States - Dayton

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 437

You deserved it 6 714

By tracy4191 - 13/06/2016 15:27 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 444

You deserved it 786

By tj85 - 17/02/2010 19:49 - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 804

You deserved it 2 587

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 03:16 - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 512

You deserved it 8 491

Jim Henson lives

By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 353

You deserved it 5 102

By ouch - 16/04/2013 16:17 - United States - Nashville

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 140

You deserved it 6 074

By arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 039

You deserved it 3 857

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 19:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 038

You deserved it 105

By who_cares - 09/07/2015 11:20 - United States - Garden Grove

Spicy

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 454

You deserved it 10 687

By wrongtarget - 21/10/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 2 212

Big lad

By Anonymous - 07/11/2020 20:01

Today, I admit I’m a bit of a big lad, but I never knew how big until I was desperate for a shit so I sat on, and broke, a toilet, flooding the bathroom, at my girlfriend's parents house, the very first time I met them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 211

By iMarriedmymother - 07/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 757

You deserved it 2 533

By chee - 11/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 724

You deserved it 2 912

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:08

Oh come on. Thats pretty freakin awesome

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Maybe give your mom a schedule of when you are teaching and tell her not to try and Skype you between those times

Comments

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:08

Oh come on. Thats pretty freakin awesome

thatonetribute 31

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:29

I agree!

CoGhostRider 31

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:53

It could have been way worse.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 2:52

Yeah I was expecting something along the lines of OPs porn page popping up so students skyping your mum is a way better FML

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 3:51

Plot twist: it was the plan all along as part of the lecture on treating those you do not know with courtesy.

YourOpinionSucks 22

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 19:36

The only way I see this being an FML is if the mother decided to show baby pictures to the OP's students. This was an honest mistake, and if your students like your mom, you could even bribe them with sloping with her if they do well on their tests and homework. Haha

xxjohndoexx9 10

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 23:02

I was expecting porn to be playing

mexican_music 13

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

And how is this an FML? Unless you're a primary school teacher, it couldn't of had been a bad conversation

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Hope she didn't divulge any embarrassing secrets of yours!

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 4:13

Did you know that OP was finally potty trained at the age of 15?!

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 7:01

That's better than quite a few people you hear about here.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 18:24

I kinda hope she did. At least one.

cjfred 13

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 18:39

I didn't know that, but OP's class probably does!

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

I'm sorry, but this would be cool.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:09

Maybe give your mom a schedule of when you are teaching and tell her not to try and Skype you between those times

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:52

So, "Here's my schedule of when I teach. Don't call me between those times." Following the logic of what you said versus what you meant, you've instructed OP to tell mom to call during teaching periods. Nice!

fakedsincerity 32

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:53

#25 - Don't call her between the times she starts and when she finishes. You knew what #5 meant so there's no need to be pedantic.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 1:40

Better yet, log off when they're teaching, so no one can Skype their class whilst they're out.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 3:51

If her mom is like mine, that would be a guarantee way to have her call when you said not to.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 17:03

Better yet, actually teach instead of playing a movie and leaving.

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 19:38

#90--It was a documentary, which means it was probably essential information. Most kids appreciate having a change in class and media, especially when it's visual. How about stop being so judgmental? Now leaving the class? I never did that but I do know there were times when you might not get a bathroom break for hours at a time, so I at least understand the urge to go.

Send a private message

Saturday 12 November 2016 7:57

Also, we don't know if this is a college class or not. My professor steps out when she has to, there's nothing wrong with that.

LittleMissShadow 16

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:11

Ok but that's really cool though..

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:11

So... What was the lesson?

ironmany_fml 23

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 6:11

don't leave you skype on during class time ?

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:11

Please tell me she told the class embarrassing stories about you ?

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:12

That would actually be pretty cool

theTravinator 21

Send a private message

Friday 15 May 2015 0:12

That's hilarious, as long as it's all in good fun I see no harm

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 94

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 287